10 weeks on

It’s 10 weeks & 2 days and feels no easier. Today we should be going on our cruise. We had planned all the trips and things we were looking forward to. I just feel devastated.
We were together 16 years but never married … Didn’t need to, we were solid. But now trying to sort pensions is proving really difficult with an estranged trouble making 40 year old son of his suddenly on the scene! I’ve provided so much evidence of joint bills, financial dependency but still more questions to come. It’s like I’m having to beg for what’s rightfully mine and what he would have wanted. He died unexpectedly age 57 in a hotel room working away from home.

Hi I’m sorry things are so difficult. Ian died almost 3 months ago and it doesn’t get any easier I’m afraid. You just learn to cope, good days and bad days. For me going back to work and keeping busy is what I do. As we all know evenings and weekends are the worst! Like you we had so many plans but sadly Ian died whilst we were on holiday in Italy. We were due to get married in December and I’m dreading that day. It’s 10 weeks today! Take care and things will work out with the pension it just takes time. Big hugs. Kay. Xx

I’m so sorry. Each experience I hear is heartbreaking. I’m still not back at work. I’m hoping at the end of the next three weeks I will be ok to go to find the new ‘normal’. Still waiting for cause of death is driving me mad x

It’s true all our stories are heartbreaking. Would you believe Ian was a healthy man, we were on holiday in Italy which was my birthday present and he died from sepsis and multi organ failure believed to be from an insect bite. What’s even crueler is we are both in our 50’s, I’d been on my own for 8 years after my marriage ended and Ian on his own since his partner died 5 years before we met. We called each other our second chance. I will never understand why he was given to me and then taken away like that! So yes so many heartbreaking stories. We all have to learn to get back to some sort of normality, it’s not easy without our wonderful men but it has to happen. There is no choice. Take time and just do what is right for you. Take care. Love Kay. Xx

Blimy, awful when you were away having a lovely time. Lawrence was 57 and I’m 53, I wonder how I will ever move on from this. I lost two friends to cancer 4 years ago and they too were in 50’s. My mum 17 years ago was 54 when she passed. Life can be so cruel. Take care x

Ian was 56 and I’m 54. Life is so cruel and there really are no answers. Take care and I hope today gets a little easier for you. Kay. Xxx

Everyone had so many plans and our men are dying so suddenly and relatively young . It is like an epidemic . It’s just awful

I’m so sorry for your loss. We too had many plans and lots to do. I just feel so robbed. This is a place where we can share and empathise with each other. Me and my partner were together 4 years but what we had was wonderful and it’s just a shame she was taken too soon. I’m gonna do what she asked of me and that is to live my life and be happy. It’s hard I know for now but I am standing still for now then I will live my life. Love, comfort and strength to you all. J xxx

It’s so hard, I know that Ian would hate the way I’ve become but how can I be happy without him. Life goes on but not for us on this site. All my future plans with him have been cruelly taken away and I have to face each hurdle ( our wedding day, his birthday in January when we would have been on our honeymoon) and it’s heartbreaking.
People say be strong but all my strength has been knocked out of me in the last 4 months, how much is a person expected to take?
Take care and love to all.
Kay xxx

May I am so sorry. It’s really hard and I have moments when I just can’t face life without my partner. I know she wanted me to go on and live and be happy! How can I?? I gain strength that one day in the future I will find a new normal from all of this chaos. I was once told something which I think of every now and again. When your going through hell keep going! It’s a weird saying but I say it to myself. I believe there is a way through this and just keep going. Your doing well. Xx

Thank you it doesn’t feel like it but we have no choice. Take care.

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