12 months and not getting any easier

Hi my husband age 59 died suddern unexpectedly nearly 12 months ago we had been together since we were 17 i miss him so much he was my best friend & soulmate , i still cry every day


Sorry to hear of your loss.
I guess we can only take a day at a time no planning for future or too far ahead.
It has been 5+ months since my husband collapsed suddenly and passed away. He had no illness apart from high blood pressure so it was really a big shock
Like yourself some days are better than others but the pain and grief is always not far away.
This website is good as most on it can relate to how your feeling as they have gone through or are going through similar things
Keep posting how you are feeling ie happy sad angry shout cry laugh someone will getback to you
Hope today is a good day.
Take care


I’m at 11 months and no matter what others say it’s a take it a second at a time, a minute at a time, an hour at a time…etc. that’s how I get through my days. I lost our home of 10 years along with him after he passed as I was never put on the tenancy. It’s been a struggle. I miss him all the time.


I am approaching 12 months since my husband of 28 years died very suddenly from a brain haemorrhage .
I’m finding it a struggle at the moment - can’t stop thinking that the memories are running out - no new memories with him.
I am surrounded by amazing family and friends but sometimes feel so alone. I long for one of his cuddles.
It is so tiring just keeping going every day!


I too lost my husband of 35 years so suddenly. He was healthy & going about doing everyday things and then just collapsed while walking during lunch hour at work!
Six months on, I am still in shock and can’t believe he’s gone, can’t believe I am never going to see him again.
I miss him so terribly, miss our chats, all day-to-day things that we always did together, our private jokes - he was a king of one-liners who lit up any parties when he walked in!
It’s been a massive struggle since he’s gone but taking one day at a time, I must say, does help me enormously to get through these dark times and I do hope it helps you too!
Although not sure about how to deal with loneliness- it’s so overwhelming and horrible!!!


Thankyou im in a mess today dont know which way to turn think ive got rising damp in my living room , my husband used to deal with maintenance of house i miss him so much its coming up to 12 months since he passed away carnt do this on my own !

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Hi @Tinatina
Sorry your having bad day today.
Me too.
Visited my mum who has dementia aged 87 today she is depressed and wants to die and end her life not good for me to hear as i would love to have my husband back to help me deal
With her moods but not to be
Today weather horrible and i got home and just had good cry to myself why is life so hard without the…
Hope tomorrow is a better day
Take care
Lynne x

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I know exactly how you feel, my soulmate used to deal with all the house maintenance too. I am now totally lost without him.
I guess we have no choice but to take a deep breath and slowly learn how to deal with everything and hopefully one day we will be able to manage better on our own. We still cry (a lot) but we keep going!
Things will get better someday for us all :crossed_fingers::crossed_fingers::crossed_fingers:
Big hugsX


Thankyou it helps to talk on ere its just 12 months since i unexpectedly lost my Husband he was 59 most days are overwhelming i care for my mum 84 has dementia my dad 88 Copd etc , im so lucy to still have them in my life but its hard caring and griving my husband .

Hi @Tinatina
Yes it helps to talk here.
It is 6 months since my husband passed he was 63 no symptoms just arteriosclerosis which lead to heart attack.
I too have my mum who is 87 and has alzheimers. She had serious fall was wandering fell on street and was not found for hours she lay in the cold and pouring rain had hyperthermia broken ribs and facial injuries. She cant remember what happened but is now in hospital
I now feel she needs more support than the 4 x carers per day and visits from me and my brother. I sometimes stay overnight but cant be there 24/7.
Seeing social worker today at hospital to look at options.
Its so hard dealing with things without my partner he said mum needed more help before he died wish id listened to him.
Take care


@noisii i lost my husband 3 months ago tomorrow… i also face losing our home and i just don’t know what im going to do? i have children aswell and am in constant fear of us ending up homeless…
did you have any help with alternative housing? as i feel there is a huge lack of support x

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As it was a council property, they ‘found’ a flat for us to move into…we had 10 days. And we had to be happy with their choice, so not. I have neighbors that have constant loud fights, play music, bang on the walls and floors. But at least we can be thankful for the roof

@noisii oh god that’s awful :pleading_face: it’s disgusting it really is… i just have to keep paying the rent here until the money that was left runs out then we face the homelessness route :broken_heart:

That’s not good. I hope you can work things out for you.

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Bless you and ya mum its awful seeing them fade away bit by bit , my sister and i do caring for my mam and dad been told to get outside help but they dont want it

Hi @Tinatina
Yes we both my brother live to far away to be responders for mum.
Due to her vulnerable at home and recent hospital visit and her dementia stage now worsening its best she is somewhere were 24/7 help is around.
Now having to look at selling house to pay for care. My husband said before that she needed more help wish i had listened to him then as i would gave had his help and support.
Well weather is -3 outside need to get ready to go visit mum later this morning then home which takes we at least 4 hrs out of my day.
Take care
Lynne x

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Bless ya its a hard decision but when they get to the stage when they can no longer luve at home its kinder for them to go live in care for their own safty its awful disease take care