I can’t believe it’s been nearly 12 weeks since my soul mate passed. I k ow he is not coming back though almost keep expecting to hear him come in the front door. I am lost without him and can only deal with thinking of a day or two ahead otherwise I feel panicky. I feel like I am wading through treacle and whilst I know the rawness will soften in time, the way I feel now seems never ending like a nightmare I cannot wake from. He went at a young age (48) so I have many years ahead of me. When will this get better?
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It’s seven weeks since my partner passed away we were together for 30 years people keep saying that as time goes on things will get better but every day I wake up feeling sick and very panicky I’m just worried about me carrying on without her the feeling of loneliness is overwhelming I have no friends or family to help me with my loss my partner was my best friend and carer and I miss her every single minute
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It’s 14 weeks for me and I hate every second of this actual living nightmare. I went back to work 2 weeks ago as I need the money and I live alone so was getting very lonely. I have no family close by and only have work friends, all my close friends live quite far from me and I don’t drive. Like you I lost my husband young he was 44. I’ve joined online groups as there is no local support groups near by. I’m dreading Christmas without him and choosing to spend the day alone to do as I please. Do you have support from family and friends?
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I can’t give you any advice here because I’m feeling exactly the same but please know that you and I are not the only ones in this dreadful situation. The love of my life passed away last Monday with no warning. One moment he was chatting to me, just normal stuff, the next he had gone. I fought to revive him, so did the paramedics but he was gone. I found my Christmas presents in his drawer with messages he’d written to me and I am utterly broken. How on earth can I come back from this? My only comfort is that I know there are plenty of others like me who are trying so hard to carry on but totally lost inside. When I am lying awake reaching out for someone who will never be there again I think that there are plenty of people doing the same and I am far from alone in my grief.
Perhaps time will heal, we have to hold onto that hope.
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@Arvia so sorry for your loss, it’s hard at anytime of the year and even harder when we lose our loved ones so soon and without warning. My darling husband Steve passed away 14 weeks ago whilst we were on holiday. He was only 44 and was and always will be the love of my life. His favourite meal ever was Christmas dinner so this year I literally can’t do Christmas without him. I know we all deal with things differently but this is my way for this year anyway. Sending you a hug.
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@KMS - I am so sorry your beloved has died - and so young. The last 12 weeks will have been so horrible, so hard, so long for you. I know. You wanted to know when things get better. It is impossible to put a timetable on grief - it is its own thing, its own mind and force. It takes its own time. Some of us can move forward faster than others, some can feel ok and then, get blindsided by a memory and feel they are are right back at the beginning.
My friend - all I can share is that I am nearly 2 years in. These 2 years have been the hardest of my life but also the years when I have grown the most and for, oddly, the better. I did not think that would ever feel ok again and, suddenly, now , I do and I have been feeling better for about 6 months.
What you feel now is normal and you have friends here in this community to know how you feel and what you are going through and who will be with you as you go. Hold on, my friend and keep posting here - we have got you x
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@Helen24 I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my partner who was 47 just over 5 weeks ago, very suddenly and unexpectedly, and it has been such a traumatic and upsetting time with the emotions of a rollercoaster. I am too dreading Christmas without him, and am avoiding everything possible. Christmas is officially cancelled as we both loved this time of year. I can’t even bring myself to turn the TV on as it will trigger a memory of something we would watch together etc. It s such a cruel world.
Loosing a partner at such a young age is even more tough as I imagine like me you are thinking how can I live a life moving forward without him? I know tomorrow is not promised and Lee proved that bless his heart, but the thought of spending another 40 years in this world without him absolutely devastates me.
Here to talk if you ever need to. How are you doing with friends and family being far away? Do you still regularly talk over the phone and message?
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@KMS I am so sorry for your loss, and totally echo your comments expecting him to walk back in the door at any moment. I lost my partner just over 5 weeks ago, he was 47 and I still struggle to accept that he has gone and likewise feel stuck in a horrible nightmare world, waking up each morning with very little sleep, and rehashing groundhog day over and over again.
I am 41 and the road ahead scares the life out of me. I cannot imagine a future without him in it, and he passed so suddenly and unexpectedly, making it even more traumatic.
Do you have friends and family close by that are checking in on you and being supportive to your needs?
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@Mpcarp tried to send you an inbox but don’t think it worked. I speak every day to my sister, most phone calls have slowed down or stopped now from friends but it’s a busy time of year for them and their lives are just going on as normal.x