13 Years Gone

My girlfriend committed suicide a couple of nights ago. It still doesn’t feel real. She was my everything. She had a lot of struggles in life but she was doing so much better than she had been. Then one night of drinking and she’s back in that evil place in her mind. She asked me for help that night, i didn’t see the message. But i saw the ones earlier saying she had been drinking alone in the house again, and i was short with her and told her to sort herself out. Had i just had more patience, had i just held on and talked to her, things might be different. I have never felt pain like this, i couldn’t have ever seen something like this happening. I am going to struggle for a long long time

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Hi @Phily

So sorry for your loss :heart:

Try not to blame yourself. Grief is horrible and comes with feelings of guilt and lots of what ifs. It wasn’t your fault.

I hope you have people around you to support you.

Keep reaching out on here the community is really supportive.

Try and be kind to yourself.

Sending hugs :hugs: x

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I lost my partner was a tragic accident with alcohol. 7 weeks ago
Please know you are not alone . You have been through a trauma, just like been hit by a truck . So you must look after yourself as a priority and take your time with things. Whatever was said or was not said does not matter , you are not responsible. Alcohol is the perpetrator. If you do not have friends and family please seek help from somebody like Cruse bereavement Sending my love.

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Thanks for the message. It’s really hard not to blame myself and wish i could change things, but i also know she shouldn’t have kept putting me in these situations. That being said, i would gladly go back in time and drop everything to go and see her every time this happened if i had known it would end this way

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Thanks for the message and I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s really helpful to talk to people who understand the pain, i never could have imagined in a million years how hard this would be to live with. And I’m only 2 days in, so i suspect it will get worse still yet

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Please keep in touch .
Let me know how you are getting on

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@Phily

I know it’s hard I lost my partner just 8 weeks ago. It would be wonderful if we could go back in time to try and do things differently. How on earth could you have known this would happen.

Grief comes in waves, you wont always feel awful, you just need to find a way through. It’s ok to feel however you feel. Grief is love without anywhere to go. The emotions and thoughts you will feel will be truly surreal. The heartache is soul destroying but you’ll get through this. You’ll learn to cope and even have good days.

Anytime your feeling shit, upset or lonely come on here for a chat. There is always someone about to talk to. I’ve found this community really helpful :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: x

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Thanks thats a lovely way to think about it, grief being love with nowhere to go. I have such an endless supply of love left for her, i just wish i could shower her with it and show her how much she meant to me.

This seems like a lovely community and i think its is helping a lot to talk about, so thank you

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@Phily

It is really helpful to chat on here. Everyone on here is in the same boat the lonely, sad, heartbroken, broken dreams, and robbed of their future club!

I was with my Andrew for 18 years then puff gone in a blink of an eye.

Not sure what you believe in but I believe we will see our loved ones again when it’s our time to go. In the meantime we need to find some enjoyment in life as we are here and they are not. He would hate for me to have a life of misery :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Someone on here said that we need to make our lifes bigger, so grief didn’t consume us which makes perfect sense.

Your in the very early days of grieving and you’ll probably feel like your life is over, you may feel like you’ve lost part if your identity. Its so cruel the feelings we have when grieving but it is part of it and completely normal. X

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