18 weeks

It’s 18 weeks today since my beautiful son died. I don’t need to explain to anyone on here the pain I feel. I wanted to ask if anyone could help with advice. My work is looking me back again but I really don’t know if I can face it or do it. I’ve always worked so if I don’t go back does anyone know what benefits is available. It seems to be just sick pay which is £70 week. Would this be right?

Thank you Sheila for replying. It’s awful to be under pressure to sort paperwork and hold down a job when you can hardly think straight some days. I went to citizens advice and they said about£70. But there are so many people choosing not to work that I just thought there has to be something more they are living on. I guess I have to be thankful I have a job and pray I’m fit to do it. Take care today x

How are you today Sheila? It’s hard to face another 24hrs to get through while carrying the weight of concrete with you. So many decisions to make, future to decide, a lovely son gone from my life, no partner to lean on. Like so many people here, life is cruel and difficult. I’m going in to my work to see people on Thursday. I haven’t seen them since the funeral. A big step forward for me.

What a beautifully written, poignant reply Sheila. I can picture your garden, you describe it so well. It’s evident how much you miss your husband. I understand that feeling that there is nothing to look forward to now. I feel I just have to put in time now, do what needs done and hope it won’t be too long until I see my son again. Then I feel guilty because my daughter needs me to. But we have no choice only continue. It’s a shame we all live so far apart on here, that we can’t meet now and again. I collected my neice from school today so I had a bit of life in the house for a while. Now the fridge is empty lol. I’m nervous about Thursday, seeing my colleagues again, it’s moving forward but feels like letting go of mourning for my son a bit too. But it has to be done. Take care Sheila x

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