1st anniversary

Yesterday was the 1st anniversary of my beloved husband passing. I don’t know where that year has gone at times I am in a world of my own trying to come to terms as to what has just happened to me in 10 short weeks.
I started the day very early indeed not sleeping as I have been relieving the events of the last few weeks of his life. Two very close friends picked me up to take me to the crematorium to read the book of remembrance and to go to the tree where I have had a bird box in memory of him to place some flowers and spend some quiet time.
You may be asking why the tree with the bird box, well I have not scattered my husbands ashes as yet, he wants them scattered on the water and I have not got the strength to do it as yet. I feel this is the final part and I surpose in the back of this muddled mind of mine I still have him there at the funeral directors. People have asked why on earth I have not done it straight away but unless they have been through the trauma of loosing a loved one they do not understand. Let’s hope this next year I can see my way back to some kind of normality.

Hi Barn owl,

I’m so sorry to hear of your husbands passing. Anniversaries can be so difficult and many members of this community have talked of how hard it can be to get through the first. I’m glad to hear that you had two close friends to spend the day with and take you to the crematorium - a bird box sounds like a lovely memorial to your husband.

I understand what you mean about scattering your husbands ashes being the final part and it is important to move at your own pace and do things when you feel ready for them. Only you know what’s best for you at this difficult time, so be kind to yourself and know that you’re not alone in this community.

Take care,
Community Manager

Thank you Eleanor for your kind words. I hope this year gets a little easier as I have a lot of decisions to make. It is nice that their are so many people on the forum who are going through the same and u derstand.

Hello. My sympathies. My partner too passed away near yours 3rd May a year ago. His ashes are in the crematorium bag in the cupboard. Not ideal but like you I am finding it hard to scatter them and a bit unsure where as he had not said. I let off a balloon with a message from me on to remember him. I was very upset then. Small steps. We have had a massive loss. I’ve been trying to eat well and healthily since with some success. Thinking of you.

Thank you for answering it was very kind especially as you are going through the same tourment as myself. Yes we both put in our wills what we wanted to be done if either of us passed away, didn’t want each other worrying what was to be done. We had all our plans worked out for the next few years. We had a motorhome and used to travel a lot through France and Spain had some lovely times, and I miss it very much with all the friends we made along the way. Have spent today in the garden making the most of the beautiful weather. My husband was the gardener so I have a lot to match up to, you have to learn fast about many things, forgot how much he did Do. Hope you can get some rest and peaceful weekend. E

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I’ve just had the first anniversary of DH’s passing this bank holiday weekend. I’m on an emotional roller coaster.

A couple of weeks ago, a man I had been seeing for a couple of months and was intimate with, suddenly broke up with me citing lifestyle differences (he lives in a studio flat in social housing and I in a very middle class conservation area), so I see where he’s coming from but we did connect in so many ways.

Then on Thursday I was elected as a local authority councillor.

I feel so emotional and flat and can’t drum up enough enthusiasm to go out. I just keep crying. I haven’t felt this emotional for a few months and I suppose miss DH being here to share my achievement at being elected. It’s an empty triumph.

The 1st anniversary is always going to very hard and life seems like you are on a roller coaster.we have just got to take each day as it comes and small steps are needed. This past year has been turnmal for my family. My sisters sons wife had kidney failure and then they had to do a emergency C Section on her and baby was born 3 months premature and it has been very emotional for us all plus her was rushed to another hospital as he had a severe infection and would you believe it was at the same time of the morning that my beloved passed away. We are going to scrap the 2 nd of May of all our calendars. Please look after yourself and know we are all here for you and understand exactly how you are feeling, stay strong.