1st year anniversary

Its 3 weeks until the 1 year anniversary of losing Dad and i have no idea how to mark it? Should i mark it? And the feelings of grief that had been a little less painful have started to resurface and caught me a little off guard. Ive spoken to a couple of close friends who have lost parents and they all say that they mark the day with loved ones, go to place the person loved etc. Im many miles from where my Dad lived and he never really had a favourite place so im thinking of maybe going to my happy place of the beach and for a walk with my husband and just remember him that way. A year on and we still havent scattered his ashes so theres no resting place and my mum and siblings are all grieving differently so a family get together isnt on the cards either.
I guess i just thought as i had been coping better the past couple of months that i could glide through this anniversary but its proving to be tough.

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I am the same as you Mum’s anniversary is on Dec 30th and it’s the first. I am going to celebrate it as we usually did when she was here and that us a quiet night in watching TV or even watching her favourite video Mama Mia.She always said if she ever felt a bit down she would watch that and instantly feel
happy . There is nothing to celebrate as far as I am concerned so as the next night will be new years eve I am just going to do a Xmas afternoon tea which we always did and keep everything the same I also still have mum’s ashes and am so glad I kept them I will eventually put them in the family grave but only when I am ready. You could do an afternoon tea even if it’s just for yourself. Do something a little different to make it special jelly in china cups.fancy cakes and sarnies. Or visit a beach at sunset and throw some flowers into the sea. Go for a memory day out somewhere where you and your mum went to or just take a picnic in the car and choose a place to park up with a lovely view. That’s what I did on mother’s Day with mum’s ashes in the passenger seat.
You are going through all the emotions of grieving especially when the first arrive. It will be tough going but we will get through them somehow because we just have to
Thinking of you
Deborah x