In 2019 I lost my grandma 29 august I never knew what to expect as she was the first loved one of mine to pass away. I cried quite a lot when she passed, then my mothers illness got worse but a week before Christmas she suddenly got sepsis and antibiotics weren’t working, my mother changed over the years as she lost her arm due to cancer. With this infection her mind started to go and I wasnt prepared for it. Everyday for a week I went up to manorlands to see her and every time said my goodbyes as I thought it would be the last. She passed away 21st december, Christmas was a weird one without both my loved ones. However now days are better than nights. I just feel that theres so many more things I shouldn’t of learnt from my mum with me being 20 years old. She didnt get to see me get married or have children. I feel that I’ve let her down in a way and I just miss her so much, I just miss the both. Will the emptiness ever get better. Sorry for such a long post, guess I’ve been holding that in for a while.
You didn t let her down. It is a very difficult situation you have been through. You ll get by. Pain is real. But so is hope. Take your tine, pray.
…please dont think you let your mother down, you are still very young and no pressure was placed on you to marry and produce children at the young age of 20 but, i know what you mean by your mother went far too young, and her illness- her death has deprived her of seeing future grandchildren from you…but it is - was not your fault…If you had known you was going to lose your mother would you have purposely have gotten yourself pregnant so she has a grandchild, can see she has a grand child, no, i dont think you would, nor would your mother have wanted for you to have done so…
I’m so sorry that you have lost your mum and grandmother in such a short space of time. Losing them in the run up to Christmas must have been very tough too. I’m in my 40s and lost my mum suddenly in june. I’m struggling terribly and am really down.
There are plenty of us on the site who chat regularly about our mums, how we are feeling and generally to vent.
Do you have support in the form of dad, siblings or friends?
…meant to have added…both my parents never saw me married ( mother died when i was 26, father when i was 37 ) and my father died just before i found out i was to be a grandmother at age 37 - he was to be a great grand father age 65…yes sadly death deprives family members of seeing our - their next generation…Although both did see their grand daughter, i was a very young, a too young - not planned 18 when i had her…
In addition to my post and inspired by Jackie’s post I would just add that I’m 48 and have never married so neither parent got to see that!
My dad died when I was 27 so didnt see my daughter. Luckily my mum did see my daughter who is 12.
Well I have plenty of my family and friends around me but for some reason I feel like I’m by myself when I know I’m not.
At the moment I’m still in denial, I knew it was a possibility for years, but I never actually expected it to happen. I’m just in autopilot at the moment, her funeral is coming up soon and I’m really not ready for that. It means that shes truly gone
Of course, grief is a very lonely road.
Even when I have my partner and daughter with me I still feel despairing and depressed.
I wish you well with the funeral. It’s not nice but may bring you some comfort, some people find it does.
If you can please lean on your family for support as you all loved your mum and nan.
Please also come and chat on her whenever you want. Its the only thing that has brought me comfort, chatting with people who understand and are going through the same thing.
So sorry Lorna, the loss of two of the most important people in your life in such a short period is terrible. I lost my mum on 22nd Oct and my husband suddenly 3 weeks later. How I am not in the nut house I do not know but I keep going and so will you. It’s not an easy road to travel and you are so young to have lost your mum the thought of the future without them being there must make you feel apprehensive and I can’t tell you if the emptiness will get better as it’s early days for me too but I hope it does for all our sakes. Keep your chin up
I know excatly wot u r going through I lost my mum in March 2018 and then my wife in December 2018 I now never look forward to christmas having had the two most important loved ones taken away from me the pain is so very real I’ve never experienced pain like it and too make things worse the stress of the pain made me had a strooke 6 weeks ago I know just take each day as it comes I hope u reach out to others and not suffer in silence like I did thinking I was strong