2021 was an awful year for me. I lost my Mum on New Years Day and my Husband at the end of November. I am really struggling to come to terms with everything and although I am back to working (part-time) now, it’s the days that I am at home alone that I find endless.
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Dear @karen7h
Welcome to the Community. I am sorry to hear of your loss. Have you got family and friends that can support you?
It might also be worth considering some one-to-one counselling support given what you have been through. If you are interested, you can find out more about the free online counselling service Sue Ryder provides here or you could make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
You could also trying contacting your local Cruse Bereavement branch to see if they have any local support groups you could join.
Please do not feel you are alone and continue to reach out. Take care.
Pepsi
Hi Karen,
I am truly sorry to read about the loss of your mum and your husband. How utterly heartbreaking for you. Well done for returning to work. I have found work to be the best distraction for me. It’s the one place in my life which is ‘normal’.
I hope you find this forum some comfort; I know I have. It’s full of wonderful people who have love and understanding. Please know you are not alone in your suffering.
Sending love and strength. xx
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Hi Kate
Thank you for your kind words, it truly has been heartbreaking and I’m really struggling on the day that I’m not working as they seem so endless and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
I do have children and young grandchildren who have been wonderful in their love and support… but I feel like I need to put on a brave ‘public’ face so that they don’t worry but when I’m on my own the loneliness is unbearable 
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Hello Karen
Sorry to hear you had awful year…its so heartbreaking…and devastated… lost my Dad in November. Feel your pain
Take care
Claire
Hi Karen.
Sorry to hear you too have suffered two losses within the year.
It is such a struggle to continue with life ’ as we knew it’ but we have to go on. I lost my father and then my partner of 7 years on 19th January.
May your happier memories give you some strength to deal with the day to day tasks and remember to be kind to yourself. There are no rules.
Much love,
Chris
Hi Karen,
I know how it feels to put on a brave face after losing my wife and mother in law in the space of a couple of months.
In front of the kids I put on the brave face to get them to live but inside it tore me up.
I feel lucky that I have a great friend where I can unload when needed this helped me to cope. Even now I know I can still rely on him. I found it easier to unload to my friend even though he knew Jacqui he was somebody away from the family. Hope this makes sense. You will get through this
Brian
Hi Claire
Thank you for raking the time to message me …it’s good to be able to speak to others who have some idea of what it’s really like to lose a loved one. Sorry for the loss of your Dad, I lost mine 9 years ago but I still think of him every day.
Take care
Karen
Hi Chris
Every day is a real struggle tbh, but you don’t get a choice and have to try to do the best you can … and if I have a really bad day I try not to let it affect the rest otherwise I just couldn’t cope.
I’m sorry for your loss, life just doesn’t feel fair does it and I’m sure you’ve said the same as I have ‘Why me’.
I am trying to remember all the wonderful memories, but sometimes that hurts just as much as I hadn’t finished making memories
Sending hugs
Karen
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Hi Brian
I’m so sorry for your loss and know how tough it must be for you too.
I have lots of people checking in with me to make sure I’m okay, but sometimes you just want to tell the truth and say you’re not coping, or you’re overwhelmed by everything but we don’t as we don’t want them to worry.
You’re very lucky to have someone you can really talk to … I have someone who I can cry with, rant with & let it all out, but then I feel sorry for them, crazy heh.
I hope you’re right and I will get through this.
Take care
Karen
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Hi Karen. Yes, you are so right. I’ve asked myself the question but know I won’t get any answers. I lost a husband to cancer in 2014 now a much loved partner. We were great together and had so many plans for our retirement.
Thank you for your kind words and I truly hope you heal with a loving heart.
Chris
Hi everyone.
2021 was a horrible year for me also. I lost my Mum to dementia in the August and my Dad who had failing health passed away in the November. I believe he died of a broken heart as he never recovered from the death of my Mum. I feel very alone with my grief. I don’t have a very supportive partner and he’s admitted as much to that and now our relationship is breaking down. I miss my parents terribly and I can’t seem to function without them.
Hello Tracy,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your parents and feeling so alone. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
You may also find the information pages on our website helpful - if you have a spare few minutes, please do take a look: https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/bereavement-information.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please do keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Susannah
Hi I’m sorry for everyone’s losses. I too am in the club of losing two family members. My wife Carole died in August 2021 from cancer and then my brother Alan died two weeks later out of the blue with covid-19.
I find it difficult at times to come to turns with his death,carole had been terminal for nearly 4 years , but the suddenness of the brain tumors that finally killed her and her determination from end of May to her death was terrible to bare. We were lucky as we got to go and visit the family to say goodbye a couple of weeks before she was hospitalised for two week. My brother was always there for me from Carole’s diagnosis to her death we always chatted over zoom and I suppose I was lucky to talk to him the day before his death. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me and I still think they alive (not for long)carole at work and Alan up on cumbria just a phone call away ,then realising their not.
Sorry if I’m rambling
Everyone stay well
John
Hi John
I’m really sorry to hear of your losses too. It really is heartbreaking when you lose someone so special & I don’t think.I will ever cone to terms with losing my Hisband & Mum in the same year.
I try to keep busy, but it’s never enough to take away the sadness that’s so overwhelming at times.
People often say times a great healer & hopefully it is but all we can do is take it one day at a time & try to enjoy time spent with family and friends.
Take care
Karen
Hi Karen
Thanks for the kind words I think like you don’t think I will get over the losses I’ve had but like you I’ll try to keep busy and take one step at a time.
Stay safe
John