2 years on

On weds it will be two years since my husband my soulmate and best friend passed away so quickly with melanoma . It was the day after my 65th birthday and he died at home . Everyone thinks I am so strong and brave and that I am over it ! but I am as lonely and as sad as I was since he died . We were married for 46 years we were 18 & 19 and were looking forward to a long and happy retirement . But life threw a curveball after only a year of retirement he was taken from me . Some days I can’t see how my my life will be in the future . Some days I relive all the distress and pain he suffered during his 19 week illness . I have a very supportive family but at night when I am alone it hits me that I am on my own nobody to talk over the day with and nobody to give me a cuddle or just hold my hand whilst watching tv in a comfort silence . It is getting a bit easier to cope with but also so easy to have a good cry over my loss . I miss him so much and hate the fact it is now 2 years on . I have been told it does get easier and when I think back to those early days I can see that I am doing better but don’t want to put him into the past . Just need now to get over tomorrow and Wednesday for another year . I am sure I am not the only one who feels like this though and need to stop feeling sorry for myself .


Hi Gillyb your sad story is near enough the same as mine, I lost my husband of 45 years 2 years ago last sat 3rd July, my heart goes out to you as I know exactly how you feel I still cry for him and talk to him but the pain of losing him is just like yesterday its not getting any easier but harder if anything, I’m so lonely even though I still have one son at home its not the same, if you need to talk I’m here, take care. Linda x

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Hi Girls
I relate to what you both wrote
Jack died 2 1/2 years ago
As Gilly said I am also copying a lot better but Jack is with me always
I really don’t think he would like me too miserable and I feel that I honour his memory by surviving well
Everybody think I am doing well and I am but I am also a changed , sadder and lonely
There is nothing in my life now that is better than it was 2 1/2 years ago
I still don’t understand how I can live without Jack beside me
Sadie x


Hi sadsadie I agree life is not the same and never will be ever again , I cope when I’m with family around me still feel so lonely though but soon as I’m on my own the tears come, its all I can do some morning waiting for my son to go off to work before I’m crying but can’t break down in front of my kids not fair on them
Miss him so much it hurts. Take care sending hugs