2 years wirhout mum and still struggling

I lost my beautiful mum 2 years ago. Still can’t believe its been that long. I still struggle with the grief every day.
This week has been really tough, have hit a real low, just can’t sto crying.
Cryed so much yesterday gave myself a headache.
Life just feels so empty and meaningless without her all the time.

Am married, but my husband doesn’t understand as he isn’t close to his parents.
Most of the time he is only interested in spending time with his friends.
I don’t know how to get past this.
Some days being at work or being in supermarket is such an effort to act like i,m ok that when i get in car i just breakdown.
I just feel like whats the point, i always knew mum loved me more than life itself as i did her , and havent felt loved like that since she passed away.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
Just feel empty inside.
I always knew life without her would never be easy, but nothing could have prepared me for this much pain. Just feel so lonely without her.

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Hi there. So sorry to hear your loss and your pain. I lost my mum in May this year, so am just over 5 months in and the grief is so painful, but a tiny bit better. I miss her so much every day as I spent my whole life with her. I am in Lincolnshire too. If you want to chat any time, just private message me. Hugs. xxx

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I came across your post which I read thinking, this is me right now. I’m approaching the second anniversary of my Mum’s passing (which I can’t believe) and you’ve described how I’m feeling to a tee. I feel so sad all the time. I put a front on at work when all the time I am thinking what’s the point anymore? Everything is pointless, my life without her is pointless. I can’t seem to find the joy in anything anymore. I’m told we get used to this but I’m not so sure. I feel like I’ll never get used to not having her in my life. It’s hard this isn’t it.

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I’m in a similar situation I lost my dad 12 months ago well it will be next Friday I’m lost without my dad I was his carer I’m still struggling now and I’ve had 2 lots of bereavement councelling I miss him every single day I was never prepared for the news and was not expecting it either I went through the shock anger guilt comfort eating crying in my bedroom not wanting to go out I have good days and bad days still

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Hi, am sorry about your dad. I just feel mentally exhausted, trying to hold it together and pretending like i,m ok , when really its just so very hard every day without her. I tryed counselling once, but it didnt help. Maybe i should have stuck with the counselling longer or maybe try a different one. I don’t know.
I suppose deep down i know that i will never get over not having mum in my life, and nothing anyone says is ever going to take away this pain.
I relieve that day 2 years ago ,all the time. I don’t think any of us ever forget that moment

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I can relate to you so much regarding this. I have self referred myself for counselling as I don’t know what else to do anymore. My husband doesn’t understand either, I have young children who depend on me and it’s really hard. All I can say is if you want to have a chat please reach out and we can chat. She’s with you in some form watching over you. I see her in me and it’s made me learn to love myself a bit more because she’s in me. I don’t know how to help but I had to comment because this is me right now x

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Hello cath, thanks for reaching out. I know that i am so very much like my mum, in things i do and say, and i also believe she is with me, watching over me.
Yes it,s hard when our partner,s dont understand. I think because his parents are still alive he doesn’t understand, so we are together i tend to bottle it up, even though i know thats not helping.
Am like you, don’t know what to do any more with all this.
I do find that if i can keep busy that helps, its when i stop.
Would love to chat with you, message me anytime x

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Hi Jasmine. It’s only been 2 months for me but I feel the same, so lonely and empty. My husband is supportive but he isn’t close to his parents so also doesn’t get the magnitude of what I’ve lost, no one does from my friends or distant family. Mum was everything to me as I was to her. I don’t know how I’ll ever be OK again without her and not feel such a terrible loneliness inside. I hope you have some good days in between the terribly sad ones and can find moments to smile. I feel I can only smile if I think of happy memories about her. I wish she could give me a sign that she’s okay. That’s she’s somewhere, so I feel like I can see her again one day.

Hi jasmine

I lost my mum 2 years ago and feel the same life is so hard really miss her not being here and I don’t think people always understand the great loss and sadness you feel

Pam

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Hello woo, really sorry about the loss of your mum. . your very brave to come and chat so soon.
I really believe that our mums are watching over us, and we will be together again one day.
I remember when i had only lost mum 2 months, everything was still so raw.
I still miss mum every day and always will.
Be kind to yourself, give yourself time.
I found that its only hear that people really understand how i feel, because everyone hear is going through the same pain.
My mum passed 2 years ago, and i am still on this painful journey, but at least hear i know i am not along.
Our mums loved us, and i believe they never really leave us.
I find it helps if i talk to mums photo. Take care x

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Hello pam. Really sorry you have lost your mum. Yes life is very hard without mum, everything feels different. And the hardest part is knowing nothing will ever be the same again.
That i can never just go round mums and sit and chat and laugh with her like we used too.
People that have not gone through a loss this huge, can never understand how it feels.
I hope that your days are getting a little easier x

Thanks for your reply Jasmine. I too talk to Mum’s photo and light a candle next to it every day. I miss her so much, the pain inside is unbearable. I love that you believe our mums are watching over us. I really hope that’s true. I feel I have to speak on here because I barely know anyone going through the pain of losing their mum. A lot of people my age still have both parents AND grandparents! I feel so young to have lost my mum at 32 and she was the only close family I had. She was everything. The idea of going through the rest of my life without her is unbearable :pleading_face: I really hope it’s true what you said and that they never really leave us :heart:

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I am at 2 years 4 months and it’s tough. To me the second year was worst than the 1st once the initial shock wore off. Like a piece of you gone forever. :heart:

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I was also 32 when I lost my mum. I did not have a relationship with my father but he also has passed. It’s strange to be ‘young’ but have no parent or grandparents.

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I’m sorry to hear that, and that you’re still struggling 2 years on, but I’m also not surprised it feels like a piece of you has gone forever as I can’t imagine ever getting over the fact I don’t have my mum for the rest of my life. It is hard being ‘young’ without her, especially when so many of my friends still have both parents AND a lot still have their grandparents! It’s so unfair, I only had my mum, and she wanted to live so badly. If you ever want to talk, feel free to pm me. I don’t know many other people my age who have lost their mums like we have x

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Hello woo.All my friends still have their mums and it feels so unfair. We were very close, so now that shes not here its hard to image living the rest of my life without her. Even after 2 years it still feels empty without her. I lost my dad at 18 and none of my friends understood what i was going through because they still had their parents. And now mums gone and my friends still have their parents. They always gave me so much love and made me feel safe. We had so many happy times together.
Just feels now like a huge part of me is missing . If your struggling message me . Take care x

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Hi

Reading this thread is exactly how i feel!
I lost my Mum last June so im at the 18 month mark and things dont seem to be getting any easier. She was my absolute rock and life feels so empty without her. I was 32 when I lost her as well! Having no parents or grandparents but 2 young children depending on me is so tough! I always find myself talking to my Mum in my head and thinking what advice she’d give me. My partner is clueless really although i know he wants to help but no one can take the pain away!
I love the thought that our beautiful Mum’s live on through us :heart: I’d do absolutely anything to have her back with me though.
Sending hugs xxxx

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Hi Katie.

Reading your comment has made me realise how similar our situations are. I lost my mum at 30. I was 23 weeks pregnant when she died. I also have another child who was very close to her. So when she died I had to keep okay for my oldest and the fact I was pregnant. I had my baby 3 months after she passed and I’ve had to focus on being here for my oldest and bringing up my nearly 2 year old. My husband like yours wants to be there but has no clue, he’s very lucky. Life’s just so hard. I have to say it’s been 2 years since I lost my mum and it’s not got easier it’s harder. Like you say it’s nice our mum’s are with us but I’d do anything to have her back here enjoy her grandchildren like she should have been :frowning: xx