Hi, I don’t know if this is going to help…?
I lost my Nan at the start of 2016 and it broke my heart she was the best… I spoke to her about everything… it getting to that time when she left us…, I don’t think I really grieved for her… these past couple of weeks I just cry and I think about how much I miss her… not only did I lose my Nan a few months later I almost lost my dad to a heart attack I sat with him in hospital watched begging that he wouldn’t leave and thankful he’s still here … he was in the process of recovering when well my other Nan decided it was her turn to have a heart attack… I seriously couldn’t believe it my Nan had only been gone 6 months and I almost lost my dad and my other Nan… I couldn’t breathe I was scared, I didn’t want this to keep happening to me, to my family … she was lucky in one way she recovering but has a hole in her heart and can’t have a op to fix it as there no funding… but she here we are so lucky to still have her and my father… then a few months past, a couple of week before Christmas we almost lost my grandfather to a heart attack it was so bad that we almost lost him … I couldn’t breathe he loses his wife and he now in her position fighting … but he carried on fighting, surviving … the year has been a rollercoaster… and I all I can do At the moment is cry and sleep … I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this… just feel like I’m just bring up the past … I miss my Nan so much and I’m greatful that my dad, other Nan and grandad survived… but I scared … feel like I cant breathe at times … Is this normal ? Should I be like this ? Is okay for me to be crying over this still ?
Hi Aw18,
Yes, it is normal how you are feeling. We all are on this site because we each have and still do feel very alone and hurt. Grief has no limit in how it takes it’s toll at times so don’t beat yourself up or think you are going mad. It’s the most dreadful process you are experiencing.
It is possible that your feelings are completely compounded because you simply haven’t had the time to get over your Nan’s passing when a series of unfortunate and distressing events also happened to your loved ones. These must then in turn have taken their own priority. Your grief for your Nan then having to be put aside to deal with the then and now.
You must be exhausted as must your family. It’s just not great feeling so desperate and anxious all the time but time alone is the healer. Maybe not completely but in time hopefully you will learn to cope better with what has happened and a lot has happened so you will be very fragile.
If your frightened and breathless a lot it’s possibly related to allof the stress you have taken on over a long period. Our bodies react physically and emotionally to prolonged anxieties so it might be best to let your GP know what you are experiencing. If the GP can help with these symptoms that might give you the strength to move on in your grief.
Don’t go on feeling like that, take support from your family and friends and most importantly make that GP appointment. It will be a positive step forward forward for you.
Keep posting, it does help. hope you find some peace soon, let us all know how you get on…
PS my Mum had a hole in her heart for most of her life. She had 3 kids, ran a business and eventually had it fixed in her 60’s (it was something else that took her from us). Your GP might therefore be able to offer some reassurance to you or give you more understanding of what your remaining Grandparents conditions mean.
Thank you for your kind words … I will definitely go and have a chat with my gp and see how he could help me … thank you for that bit of positive information about your mum and I’m sorry for your loss aswell