29 weeks

29 weeks today, feels like a lifetime but only 29 Sundays, that’s not a lot.

I’m doing things I never imagined, reluctantly accepting new routines and opportunities. Going away, although different, it’s been nice.

24/7 with my daughter had it’s own challenges and nothing like the times me and my partner had.

I’m grateful though for the support and the fact I have people who want to do these things with me.

There’s always that edge, the ‘i wish he was here’ but it won’t change, he never will be again.

The pain changes as you go down this road. It’s still there but it changes intensity and frequency but there are additional challenges that weren’t there at the beginning. The reality hits hard when the shock wears off.

But for all starting your journey or are on the road behind me, it’s does get better slowly and I take comfort and reassurance from those ahead of me, who continue to support and guide us.


It’s posts like yours that give me hope and keep me going particularly when I am having a bad day like today. At least I have a nice roast dinner coming later on to look forward to. Xx


@Ali29 Such a poignant post! So good to hear you’re finding the strength to face all of this and see a way to go, it’s hard to keep going when the road is obscured but you sound as if you’ve found your way back, a bit of direction. As pudding says your posts have helped me a lot too, I think it was your post about going away the first time you did that really cut through with me and made me realise that you can take control and face things. Thank you for that. As you’ve been saying lately, there are now things we can do that we couldn’t before, it’s a sad fact but one I’m sure our partners would want us to realise.

I know so well what you mean when you say, the pain changes, new challenges become apparent, the reality hits hard. it really did for me too when the shock wore off, I felt back to square one. Now looking from here I feel as if I have a better foundation to build on now that the shock has moved away, a better understanding of myself and how I might fit into the future. I hope it’s the same for you too.


@Pudding @Walan
Thank you both for your comments. I really appreciate what you’ve said. We have to keep going no matter how hard.


Good positive comments.
Makes me feel that after only 11 weeks into my journey that things will get better and the pain is not so intense. Thank you Lynne

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