2nd year of bereavement

Hi, lost wife jan 22 and mom feb 22. Had therepy March to November ,felt something happened in December ,to make me feel stronger and cope with Xmas and anniversaies .But in January now,i seem to have gone backwards with new kind of grief.It seems now ,i beginning to Miss my wife all of a sudden.Very upsetting grief,often throughout the day. Is this to do with the second year I tell people im ok and be positive ,but I seem to be going through a new kind of grief that i dont understand or can cope with. Very disappointing .if it is a second year thing,have I got a whole year of new griefing ? People tell me the 2nd year is worse.

4 Likes

Hello @Keiand,

I’m so sorry to hear about your wife and your mom. It sounds as though things are very difficult at the moment as you are grieving.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.

Take care - keep reaching out,

Alex

Keland
I have just started the third year of bereavement and I would say that my second year was occasionally more difficult than I expected but I think that was because I believed I should be doing better. I have now realised that the grief will be with me forever and I have started to learn to live with it. Since I’ve accepted that I am finding I can cope with my life better. Losing my darling husband is a fact of my life and I will always love and miss him. I wish every bereaved person peace and love.
Carol

7 Likes

Thank you,made a good point,regarding feeling better,perhaps guilty,but stronger That may be why the grief feels different. Yes it’s a life sentence,but somehow we find a way to cope.There is no other way.

1 Like

Its been 3years 7 months for me some days i can cope pretty good better than i thought i would but out of the blue it hits you and im tearfull again for a few days then it stops for a while its like a roller coaster but not as raw as the first 2years still miss her very much and cant wait to be with her but i guess we all have to be patient our turn will come

2 Likes

Thank you, I guess everyone is different .I know its something to live with for the rest of my life.Feel so disappointed with the type of grief recently.It helps knowing that its “normal” if thats the right word.

2 Likes

Hi Keiand

I also lost my mum Feb 22. When I look back on last year a lot of it is a blur, I must have been in some kind of shock or autopilot to have got through it. I worry about how I will cope in the second year of grief , if I’m going to be more aware of the loss?

1 Like

Hi everybody talking about grief and time.My hubby passed away 12 years ago next month I would think probably for 3 years the devastation overtook my life.The suddeness of his death too was a shock died in bed next to me he was never ill.But I spoke of him often my lovely only son was great we supported each other.And yes I still wept yearned to see him again and life was becoming more bearable.Sadly my son became ill suffered alot and passed in March last year.At the moment I find life unbearable without him I have no idea how I get through each day but I will.I weep for them both now and I dont expect the time will ever come when I dont.I really do know that they would urge me to carry on and try make the most of life.I honestly feel that if you have lost the loves in your life the passage of time doesnt alter those feelings you will always have for them.Its just some days are easier than others and will be forever.Best wishes to you all in coping and LIVING with grief xxx

4 Likes

I too lost mom in Feb 22 (1 month after wife ). This 2nd year is making me stronger,more confident to go out.Yet those moments of grief are different and difficult .I guess the stonger i get,the grief will feel worse? May be its a contrast between happy and sad.
Just have to adapt and be aware.learn to live with it

2 Likes