3 month of grief not coping

I lost my Husband to COVID 3 month ago feel there’s no point for anything we did everything together just feel lost .

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Liz131
So sorry for your loss.
I lost my boyfriend to Covid too nearly 11 weeks ago, so I know exactly what you are going through.
I hope you find some comfort on this site. Sadly, we are all suffering.

Stay strong x

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I know it’s horrible the situation COVID left everyone in made it worse did you get into hospital to see him?

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No I never. At first it was only telephone calls and text, then hospital virtual visits because he could not speak. I last saw him on Saturday, and was waiting for my next visit on Sunday but I got the dreaded phone call and my world collapsed. I never got to say goodbye or tell him how much I loved him.
I tell him every day now, and hope he can hear me.
Did you get to your Husband?

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Yes I got phone call 16th January with the shock he was not going to make it he was on a ventilator and they said he was making good steps towards maybe getting off it so it was a shock but they let me in to say goodbye was awful I can’t believe he’s gone.

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I know that feeling of disbelief too well. For a few days after he died, I was hoping and praying that I would get a phone call to say they made a mistake, he pulled through. Crazy thoughts I know,
The memory of my last virtual visit hurts so much as he looked so sad and helpless and I couldn’t do anything. I kept begging him to fight it and come home. My Sunday visit never came.
I can still hear the bleeping sound of those heart monitors and mechanical ventilators, I think they will haunt me.
Sorry to sound so down, but it still seems so unreal. I hope i’ve not upset you,

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I lost my man on a ventilator on 03/02 I’m traumatised and will never get over what he went through.
I am so sorry you are all hurting too it’s a miserable existence and I’m so lost scared and cannot bear to think of how he struggled on the CPAP mask he was scared but tried to protect me until he went to ICU.
We thought he was making progress as well but he deteriorated and I received a 1am phone call and he died in a horrific way in my arms the staff switched the machine off. I now know he died of sepsis.
As with you covid has destroyed our lives and I will never ever get over this.

:yellow_heart::yellow_heart:

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I am so sorry to hear there’s other families going through same as ours you always think it’s just you it’s happening to although television is telling you of the deaths. We had so much more to do in our life’s he was only 60 years old .

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Bear22

My Tim was 58 and we were to marry on 18th June as we always meant to get married but the children came first.
Without medication from the doctor i wouldn’t be able to get through a day I am in utter misery inside.
It hurts so much nothing makes me happy anymore.

I hope the day is kind to you

:yellow_heart::yellow_heart:

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I have this all the time and red flashing lights from when he ‘missed a breath’ on the ventilator.

It’s indescribable to anyone isn’t it.

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Everything you’ve written is exactly how I’m thinking too. That second night (because I didn’t sleep the first one) where I dreamt the hospital had made a mistake & my mum walked through my door… then I woke up and fell apart all over again. Everything haunts me. Everything triggers me too. Sending hugs.

Morning Bear22
So sorry to hear you lost your man, I lost mine 2 years ago.
Be strong ! Its so so hard I know as I have been there and it is still so hard. I have no family just got fiends and I feel very lonely from time to time.
Life does get easier but never the same I would love my Mick to come back.
Keep using this web site especially in the early part of bereavement as I did and it saved me many times from feeling low and depressed. Keep going my friend love Sue

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Thank you for your words , everyday I feel different emotions I am so glad I have found this site ,I can’t believe everyone seems to be going through same thoughts I am so sorry you don’t have family around you I do but Its not them I need at the moment although my son is always there and helped so much I can’t get by the what happened before he passed and after .

Stay strong I lost my partner 7 weeks ago not yo covid but a heart attack and I wasn’t with him the guilt is unbearable

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Morning
So glad you have your son to help you through the sad times. I know you miss your husband so much its such a terrible time to get through. I have good days and bad days even after two years. The last two years for me have been horrid had so many medical problems and I have never been a sickly person before and what with this COVID situation as well dealing with it on my own and in a flat. But the sun is shining summer is on its way so I try and be strong and keep going but its hard. Like you say, lots of us out here feel the same as you! we all feel sad about our losses and thats why this site is so good for all of us. We can put our thoughts and emotions down which I find really help and hope it will also help you in the sad moments. Keep safe Lv Sue

I lost my husband 4 weeks ago I feel empty and seem to be in a dreamworld Nothing makes sense I get up survive then go to bed I can’t believe he has left me

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I know the feeling I am on my 12 weeks and have counted everyday I am so lost also just stare and think all day everyday what if but it never makes me feel any better my heart goes out to you and this group is all feeling the same .

I am at 4 weeks too. People have said to me that all you can do at this stage is to breathe and float through each day. Not sure how long I’m meant to do that for though - it’s just an existence isn’t it? I used to have a life, a very, very happy life.

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And not much of one.

I’m at 5 weeks and I feel exactly the same. Probably not helpful but at least your not alone. I just want to stay in my little bubble with no one around me but my memories. I don’t want to make new ones. I want my old ones back.

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I had all these things to doing together planned this year when restrictions end now all I hear light at the end of tunnel with this virus well what’s about us who have lost someone we love I don’t see any light anymore just a big empty space and as much as I have family they don’t really understand how I am feeling I wish life would just go back to where I was :sleepy:

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