3 years in

Hello everyone

I’m new to this community, I lost my beautiful wife Pauline almost 3 years ago, she was only 59 years old, and was suffering with multiple myeloma, which is bone marrow cancer, I was and still now heartbroken, keep asking why, and could I have done anything differently, even to the extent ,that if I was able to take that horrible disease into my body, I would have gladly done so, the grief is just awful,all I want to do is be reunited with her again, I honestly don’t know how I’ve coped since she went, but here we are in 2022, and I can’t believe where the time has gone, I often talk to her about what’s been going on with the kids, and about life in general, it’s helped me get through, the worst times are anniversaries, birthdays, that’s when it really hits home, we always said we would be lost without each other,and that’s proving to be very true.
Peace and love to all.


Hi Newbitz1506. I am deeply sorry for the loss of your wife, I fully undress hat you are feeling and going through. It will be 3 years in July I lost my wonderful wife. We were together 44 years , she was 68.
I still talk to her and tell her what our children are doing. The loneliness still haunts me like a horrible ghost. I don’t think we will ever get over loosing our loved ones , but somehow learn to live with the grief, loneliness and heartache. I would have gladly died for my wife. But wouldn’t want her to go through this pain and suffering that we are going through now.


Newbitz. Hi.
It is 3 yrs and4 months since my beloved husband died of pancreatic cancer. I too can’t believe how quickly it has passed but much of it is a blur. Sometimes I think I am doing fine and then I get that horrible deep ache in my heart and NOTHING compares to sharing my life with him. I have resigned myself to knowing I will never move forward properly without him but the raw seeing pain has gone and has left me with a flatness inside that is allowing me to accept whatever there is left to live for.


Angieoyo2 , I quite understand that flat-less feeling. I get on with my life as best I can , but that flat-less and empty feeling is always there. And there doesn’t seem to be any joy in life or anything we do. It’s not really living, it’s just existing from day to day.

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