Three years ago this month my wife and soulmate of 50 years got ill with a brain tumour. She died less than 3 months later. People said at the time that the second year is worse than the first. It was. I can now confirm that, for me at least, the third year is even worse than the second…
7 Likes
So sorry, it’s so hard isn’t it? I am approaching 3 yrs and year 2 and 3 definitely bring a different set of challenges.
I now have a fulfilling life, one I am now enjoying, good friends, good health, etc but there is always a feeling deep down inside of me of something missing, a part of me that is not quite complete. A part I guess that will always feel that way because only my husband completed my soul after 50 yrs. I am ok with it and have come to an acceptance. It’s a comfort, a sacred place in my heart
Di
4 Likes
This is frightening. It will be my first year in January. I did not think it could get any worse. Now I am really upset.
1 Like
…I guess it’s different for everyone…thats how grief works…please find your own path mate…it may be different than mine…
It changes. My first year was he*l, this second one has been harder in some ways, mainly emotionally because I feel the permanence of it. It’s been easier, a little better, in the day to day stuff around the house/yard, managing all of that though. I think it’s so individual.
1 Like
Today js the third anniversary of the last day my husband was in our home as he died in hoslital in five weeks time. So tonight will be significant to me.
Those three years on my own. I had wished my husbabd good luck but we both knew it was touch and go from now on. He knew he wouldn’t make it to next year.
I always thought it would take three years to stop the awful grief. And it is true. It isn’t good but it is different. I do what he used to do. I mow the grass, trim the bushes, do the shopping, cook all the meals freezjng what would have been his share, drive myself, put the dishwasher and washing machine on, take rubbish out, put garden waste in bin, remember to put bins out, prune the rose bush, weed garden and paths. So much he did. I care for my son trying to go with him to his appointments. I used to feed the cat but she died a year ago on the anniversary of his death. I am used to the silence.
2 Likes
I can personally confirm from me that the day i lost Jayne over 6 years 7 months ago
was the worst day of my life and i feel exactly the same now as then.
I miss Jayne like crazy and its because i can treasure the memories
i shared with the love of my life that i am here today.
Having a few tattoos dedicated to Jayne and going way out
my comfort zone and doing a tandem sky dive to show my love
for Jayne.
But quite frankly i don’t want to be here,
Though i admit that many men and ladies who have lost their
long term partner/wife/husband etc do find happiness again in
some form or other, But that cannot and wont happen to me.
I’m far from lonely i just miss and want to be with Jayne.
To all you in the early stages of your heart breaking loss.
Here’s wishing you to find the inner strength to
Live as best you can and find some comfort
on being on a site that as many different people
of which many have written of ways they cope
and get through the days and nights etc.
So hopefully every one can make their own way
by following those snippets of advice or find their own
way of living without the love of their lives.
take care
Jiayne
2 Likes
i think its different for everyone. it was 3 yrs 6 mths yesterdasy since my hubby of 47 yrs died, the first few months were the worst but its got better over the yrs. now, although i think about him, i dont get upset any more. its no good getting upset and crying about it, he isnt coming back no matter how much i would like that. Whether i like it or not life has moved on, everything i do doesnt include him any more. i doubt i will find anyone else at my age (70) and i am not bothered. you get used to it
1 Like
Well you never know do you how it goes? I am going to the Lake District for a few days because my grandson has an extra week for half term so my son is taking us so we can use hotel swimming pool and have a look round. He is 12. Won’t last forever being with my grandsons but have had some fun through years although not the energy used to have. My friend died without ever having a chance to be with her grandchildren.
2 Likes