3yrs and almost 2yrs on

I lost my dad in Jan 2012 but he didn’t pass from cancer but still a massive loss to my family and even more so me as I was a daddies girl then in July 2012 we lost our mum who I cared for for 8yrs it felt like someone had ripped my heart out not once but twice and taken away my whole life. I didn’t know what to do with myself but my daughter found out she was pregnant so I focused everything on them and put all my hurt at the back of my head which I shouldn’t have done then in July 2013 my youngest brother was diagnosed with a brain tumour then lung cancer I was devastated and found it really hard to be around him but after a break away with my kids and grandson I gave my head a shake and went to see him hospital . A wk after we returned we was told it had spread and because he was so weak they couldn’t treat him so talked him into going into Manorlands to help him but he quickly got worse and on the 27th Jan 2014 passed away with us all there for a third time my heart was broken and for a third time I pushed it to the back of my head because my daughter found out she was pregnant and needed her mum to be strong as the little boy she was carrying has cdh he was born early and was the double of my little bro so I knew having my bros sprit he wasn’t going anywhere and he hasn’t he’s still a very long way to go but with all the angels up there looking after him he’ll grow into a strong person like his nanna anyway I’ve prattled on enough there is life after bereavement just look at your kids your grandkids and think how proud those upstairs will be looking down with big smiles on there faces X I miss all mine each and every day and one day I’ll deal with it x

Hi Sludlam,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your mum, dad and brother in the last few years - you really have had an awful lot to deal with.

It sounds as though you’ve been so strong for your family and for your daughter, but maybe you haven’t had a chance to deal with your loss.

We hope we can make this online community a place where people don’t have to be strong and where they can share how hurt they are feeling if they need to. So do keep on posting here if you find that it helps.

We had this post recently from Andy, whose brother had just died and whose dad also has terminal cancer: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/brother-died-morning-and-my-dad-terminal-cancer-well. Feel free to reply if you can relate to what Andy is going through.

You mention that your brother was cared for at Manorlands - have you had any support from them since he passed away? They have a team there that can offer bereavement support to families.

I’m glad to hear that your grandson is doing ok, and that he reminds you so much of your brother - that must be a real comfort to you. Let us know how he - and you - are getting on when you can.

Take care,

I was having counselling before my brother died but it stopped due to he thought I’d need more after but since then I’ve not requested anymore as my life as been too busy to seek it I do know Manorlands do it and maybe when I’m ready to deal with everything I’ll take up the offer but I feel if I have it now I’ll crumble and my kids need me to be strong espesically my daughter X

At least it is good to know that the offer is there for when you feel ready to take it up. In the meantime, this site is here for you if you ever need to vent.

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