4 days

Coping with bereavement
1

Good afternoon
My darling wife died 4 days ago. It was sudden, but she had been telling me for months that her time was up this year. I knew when she woke me to drive to hospital that this was the end. Friends and family have been great. I talk as much as I can, and like many men that’s unusual. I cry constantly. I loved her she was my soul mate and suddenly every plan we had is gone. I don’t really know what to do. I’m not even sure if the current situation makes things better or worse. I can avoid people if I want, I can restrict people at the funeral, and already that’s a boon as nastiness and old grudges have surfaced with children who didn’t accept the partnership. So those don’t attend. I don’t really know what what I’m asking, but I suppose I am just saying hello to the community

2

Hi. Allen and welcome. I’m so so sorry about what’s happened. I lost my wife nearly eighteen months ago and it’s still painful at times. But to talk to you now about the future is best left until later. You are still emotionally raw. And no worries about crying. ‘men don’t cry’. the old British stiff upper lip. Rubbish!!! I cried buckets at first and so will you, but that’s better than bottling up emotions.
This is an amazing site with amazing people and we all know about grief, don’t we just!! I do sincerely hope it all goes well for you at the funeral.
How can people be nasty and hold grudges when someone has died . My God! Take care and look after yourself. I’m sure your wife would want that.
John.

3

Thanks Jonathan. I know its early days and there’s a long tunnel to travel. I hope the site is useful. There’s a lot of answers I need and I don’t even know the questions yet.

4

Hi Allan, sorry you find yourself on here after the loss of your lovely wife. I am glad you have support from family and friends who let you cry and talk. Don’t bottle it up as it will come back and bite you on the bum eventually. You are still in shock and disbelief that you have lost your soul mate and your future together has been snatched away. I know exactly how you feel. As you say this current situation can work to our advantage if we would rather be alone. I also have problems with step daughter’s so know what that’s like. Do what you need to do to get through this as it will be the worst time of your life. Chatting to others on here who have been where you are is comforting and it helps knowing you are not alone. We are all here when you need us.
V xx

5

Thanks Mrs Colt. Talk is good.