4 weeks without my dad and struggling

Hi, I lost my amazing dad 4 weeks today! We are a very close family and him and my mum have always been there for me no matter what. We live in the same village literally 1 min walk away from each other and I’m just a really struggling right now. Im 29 currently doing a nursing degree and running my own beauty business I have 5 children who he was really close to aswell a 10, 8, 6 year olds and 19month old twins. The only person I have ever lost close to me was my grandad 9 years ago ok the 8th December and I found that hard enough but my dad my hero is just too much to take, I feel like I’m keeping it together on the outside for the kids but on the inside I’m breaking apart. It’s so hard being the first Christmas without him aswell as we always have big family Christmas’s. I just feel lost and guess I just want to know I’m not alone. I have always believed in another life and ghosts etc as did my dad but recently found myself questioning all of this and wondering what does happen is my dad watching me or is he really gone gone.

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your amazing dad. All the emotions you describe are really normal parts of grief. It’s really early days so it’s important to be kind to yourself and give yourself a chance to grieve. Many people feel they need to stay strong for their kids, but it is ok to let them see that you’re sad sometimes - it will help them understand that it’s ok for them to share their own sadness about losing their grandad.

I hope that it helps a little to have this site as a place to share your feelings - you aren’t alone here. While you wait for more replies to this post, you may also find it helpful to read and reply to some other conversations in the Losing a Parent section: https://support.sueryder.org/community/losing-parent

I’ve also posted some information here about ways to get support over the Christmas period: https://support.sueryder.org/community/general-chat/where-get-support-over-christmas-0

I hope that you get through Christmas as well as possible.

If there’s anything I can help with, or you have any questions about this site, please contact me on online.community@sueryder.org.

Community Manager

Thankyou for your reply I will try some of the links, still majorly struggling and even more so now as my poor nan who I care for and am very close to also passed away yesterday. Just seems all this bad stuff is happening at once.

I’m so sorry to hear about your nan as well - that certainly is a lot in a short space of time.