40th wedding aniversary today

So its here the day we would normally be celebrating ,the day we said we do 40 years ago today 5th July 1980. Except today I woke up to an emptiness that feels even more empty. Its 4 1/2 months now since I last seen you …not a minute in the day goes by without you in my thoughts …i heard a song "Dancing in the sky " such poignant words i… so hope you are dancing in the sky ) I miss you so much :broken_heart::disappointed_relieved:

Hi Bab1
Your message is so very poignant and will strike a chord with everyone of us who has lost the love of their life. Although every day without them is nightmarish, remembering those very special moments simply emphasises just what we have lost. So grateful to have loved and been loved - so hard when they are not here to tell them just how much!
My husband died suddenly two weeks before our 35th anniversary so in all honesty the day didn’t register at all. At that stage I really didn’t know if it was Christmas or Easter. Some people who are further along might be able to offer help as to how best to approach these significant days and get through them. I hope so.
thinking of you.xx

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Yes we all feel it more on those special days, it hurts and tears are plentiful. I can’t honestly say that it gets easier or less painful, well not for me. I was told earlier on to plan what you want to do on those special days. Yes I have but sometimes it doesn’t work and now with the virus it’s impossible. Hold on to your beautiful memories thinking of those better days. We will all be thinking of you so please don’t think you are alone today or any day. Bless you.

Hi Bab, anniversaries can be awful, they can remind us of all the previous good times and how we will never get time with that person again in our life, and end up overwhelming us, and as a 40th anniversary is a milestone, it can make the pain even worse. Hope you manage to find the strength to cope today, keep posting here if you need to.

Dear Bab1
We are all thinking of you.
Alone anniversaries are both immensely sad and yet also beautiful…they remind us of so much love and love never dies.
I always light a candle on such days…perhaps that might help you too.
Deep breaths…you can do this x

Dear Bab, I have posted the song you mentioned on the Songs thread. It’s a great song. Lovely lyrics. I’d never heard it before. True words from Ameliesgran. Even though your man isn’t here, your anniversaries will always be a celebration of your love for each other. :heart:

Thank you for the reply jobar…knowing people care is I find an enormous help…sending back warm wishes for your loss to …x

Thank you Kate…it is a beautiful song and you are right we will always celebrate the date in our lives when we said "we do " x

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Thank you Amelie …I have just come from a visit to the cemetry …I took my usual flowers Rose’s…one had broken off …this was always a standing joke between my husband and I…I would always say just get me one rose that’s all I want …today I took it as a sign that he was saying I’m here …this is for you…


Thank you Abdulah …

Your broken off rose mad me smile Bab. :blush: Definitely one from your man :rose::heart::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


Thank you Susie

I too like to light a candle on special days and be on my own with my thoughts and memories :blue_heart: Lite my 47th anniversary one in June, we made it to 45 :cry:

My thoughts are with you today. I am sorry I only just found your post but I wanted to share with you what my mum did for what would have been her 40th wedding anniversary. My mum decided to have a party to celebrate her and my dads life together and to make it a charity event in aid of Colon Cancer Research (which he died of). She invited their friends and family and put photos of their lives together on the walls and hung up balloons which said 40th. She played music they both liked and made a speech about my dad. She held a raffle with loads of prizes she had donated. And altogether she raised about £3000 but more than that she felt she did something positive to mark the occasion for her and to remember dad. It also kept her very busy in the build up so she had something to look forward to with friends.
I do hope you found your own way to mark the occasion and remember. I hope you had some supportive friends to share the time with. Thinking of you.

Thank you for sharing the lovely ways your mum celebrated her own 40th without your Dad …in many ways I guess I was fortunate if you can call it that in that knowing my husband wouldnt be here in advance of the special milestone …so we had a beautiful celebration 5 months before …we renewed our vows …and the whole day was pure magical…and the memories will be with me forever more …

Oh that is a lovely memory to hold onto so that when the day did come around you had that other day to look back on and hold onto and cherish. Good for you glad you did that. I wish my mum and dad had done something like that for themselves but my but they both felt until the last treatment that my dad would beat it. He was such a strong man that if any could then we thought he could. There was a time where he made a lot of progress and it went into remission for a while and I so wish they had done something then. I am glad that when you and your husband knew that you didn’t waste the time and you built some everlasting memories. I also hope that you have lots of friends and family who support you as you need them. Take care. Thinking of you.