4weeks since I lost my mother

Hi who ever is reading this, am 28 and my best friend my mother was 66. I have two young daughters at 7 and 4 who my mother was their father and grandmother combined and kept them while I worked etc up until February this year when she fell and shattered her hip. Eventually she was diagnosed after being admitted to hospital in May again with new hip fractures and a tail bone fracture which turned out to be osteoporosis. She was discharged to my house and I became her full time live in nurse as I was still off work due to Covid. It was a hard stressful time being alone with mummy who couldn’t walk yet and was skin and bones and with the two girls, but we managed and mum was eating great and with physios coming once a week we got her on her feet with a Zimmer frame and got her back to her wee home with a care package, that lasted all of one week before she took severe pain and ended up back in hospital. To cut it short she developed hospital infected pneumonia and my brother and I sat with her while she faded to a shell and passed. I suffer with kidney stones and of course during these few weeks of waiting for mummy to pass I was in and out of a and e with two stones stuck so 3days after the funeral I ended up being admitted and on the operating table one week after she passed so when I got home the pain and tiredness hit me with a bang and my children where back in my care from my friends houses and I was threw into the reality of what had happened the one person I wanted by my side wasn’t. I see my mummy everywhere and I mean everywhere she’s there, every night I don’t dream I have nightmares and wake up soaking in sweat. I can’t do this anymore am jealous of everyone even my own children saying mummy because I don’t have mine. I feel like shouting to the world how can you go on with your lives when my mummy is dead. It’s hard being like this I don’t go out in fear of meeting people I know and they say the same old thing am sorry for your loss, I know no one knows what else to say but they didn’t kill her so why are the sorry. I hate being like this and hope someone has felt the same way and can assure me that this feeling passes I know life will never be the same we were joined at the hip literally did even the shopping together. I only moved out of her house 5years ago and moved across e road we shared a car and everything it’s like my mother best friend partner right arm just a part of me is gone. Thank you in advance

@Duffy750 so very sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I lost my Mum in March to cancer, she had just turned 63 2 days before she died, I am 34. I have a young son who turned 3 this month. It is very hard. I can understand your pain. It must be very difficult for you to have lived with her as well. Even though my Mum had terminal cancer, I was in denial while she was ill that she would die and also when I lost her. She died on Mother’s Day literally just before lock down and I found that it stopped me grieving properly. We were close too and spoke daily, saw each other regularly etc. She was the one person I could tell anything to and it’s definitely like losing a friend as well as a Mum. I’m the same as you and can’t help but be envious of others talking about their Mums, I see saying how great their Mum is helping them out etc and it makes me very sad as my Mum would be that person too prior to getting ill. She hated being disabled by her illness and not being able to do all the things she could before. It’s awful to watch someone you love go through it all. There are many of us on here sadly that have lost their Mum or Dad or another close relative so hopefully together we can get through it. Life is very unfair sometimes and our Mum’s were definitely taken too young. I always thought my Mum would be here for a long time yet and see my son grow up, and now that future has been taken away. Feel free to message on here anytime for support x

Hi duffy750
I completely understand. I lost my wonderful 74 year old mum 15 months ago to a sudden brain haemorrhage.
What a shock. My mum lived with me and brought my daughter up with me. She was everything to my daughter who is now 13.
I thought we had another 15 or 20 years together. Life is very hard without our best friends, our mums.
Cheryl x

I lost my mum of the same thing 9 months ago. One day she was fine next day she was not here. It is heartbreaking. I am an only child and my mum like yours was my world. I feel I have no one to confide in now although I have a family and a step dad Step dad is struggling Everyone thinks I am so strong and hold everything together. If they looked a bit deeper they would see how much I am struggling

Hi Quinnk
Its unreal isnt it? Like you said. One day they are there the next gone. I feel like I’m living in a different world now x

I know we should be greatful for all the big moments they were here for but it’s hard to think like that all I keep thinking is about what I don’t have her here for. Am glad I’ve come across this site and can come in here to vent as all my friends are acting like I should be moving on by now and it feels like yesterday I lost her. No one tells you every morning your basically being told again that the most important person is gone. Do you have any tips on how to ease the pain in my heart at least part of the day

I am in the same position right now and I’m 22 everyone is older but I feel I’m the one holding everyone just like I was the only one hold my my mothers hand as she was passing it’s so hard but I’m sure are mothers know we are strong and we don’t need to be for anyone else anymore I know it’s hard as I keep telling myself but I can’t keep forcing myself to do things that are draining me because are mothers wouldn’t have wanted that they want what’s best allways have and allways will :wink:

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