6 month anniversary

Hi all. I lost my amazing Bri 2nd October last year, suddenly and unexpectedly, it was our 14th wedding anniversary. So its 6 months exactly this sunday 2nd april, i cant believe its almost 6 months. How did those that have got to this horrible milestone cope. I seem to be getting worse, as the length of time that i touched, kissed him, spoke to him and heard him is getting further away. I feel like my life ended the same day. Ive had 3 out of 4 sessions of counselling with minimal improvement, i hate every sunday, i relive that fateful day hour by hour but im just dreading this sunday so much more.xx


Thank you for posting as mine too has just been 6 months, so it’s nice to compare how others are.

I feel like although bad, my grief has changed and is continuing to change as the days/weeks go on. At first it’s obviously horrendous and takes ages to realise it’s actually real. I feel we are pressured somewhat to think we should be doing better than we are, or should be nearly over it by now.

I read a lot of places that if your grief is still bad after 6 months you might be experiencing complicated grief. I now realise this is all nonsense. Unless you’re not actually able to function at all, I’d say it’s all still normal.

I feel my life is much different now but I don’t like it and want my old life back. I feel angry at my husband for leaving me. I feel depressed with it all most days and the future seems so very foreign without him. I was experiencing intense yearning for my husband, that was excruciating at times. I thought it was easier to just die too so I could be with him or would no longer have to endure this pain. I don’t feel that way now, so I guess it’s a slight improvement, although I’m generally down and depressed.

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I lost my partner on the 12 th of June we had been together 20 years I have some days that aren’t as bad as the ones just gone I don’t have good days I miss her so much I sometimes just want to be with her but wouldn’t do anything stupid I’ve gotta stay strong for the kids. She also died on a Sunday and I dread them coming round I keep hitting firsts birthday without her first Christmas without her. My addictions are through the roof I’m self medicating with crack cocaine it helps at the moment even though I know it’s not good for me. I have very little motivation to do anything I do try and think what would caz want me to do


My husband was a cocaine addict which eventually resulted in him taking his own life. Please seek help for your addiction. It must be hard enough without the grief. I drank a bit over Christmas as it seemed to help at the time but the next day I’d feel even worse. So now I don’t bother. I’ve never really been a drinker either.

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No, no, no catdisplaystar, No to crack cocaine. I am an alcoholic - ex alcoholic, reformed - or whatever, I don’t drink at all now. AA was a total no-no, I used Antabuse (through the doctor) to help me give up after a lifetime of increasingly heavy binge/trickle drinking. I succeeded in stopping drinking and after a number of years felt confident enough to come off the Antabuse. Not so very long afterwards, in 2018, my beloved husband showed signs of and was later diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and dementia. I cared for him at home for 5+ years until he died. I could not have done that if I’d been drinking, and I certainly would not have been able to stop myself hitting it hard when he died 4 weeks ago - or at the funeral today (wake in a pub). If you go down the crack cocaine route it’s, a journey with no happy ending.

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This thread had been closed as we reviewed our guidelines on discussing illegal drug use on the community. It is okay to seek support with these issues on the community, as long as you are not advocating the use of illegal drugs.

@catdisplaystar, please do get support - you matter and you deserve help. The NHS has a guide on getting help with drug addiction that you might wish to explore.

Thanks all and please do keep reaching out.