It’s been 6 months since my Mum passed away, I know time is a healer but I am really struggling and have been having suicidal thoughts.
I’ve tried so many things to get help; I’m on anti-depressants, I’ve spoken to Cruse and attended seminars, the doctors referred me for counselling but it’s actually with a vocational rehabilitation consultant.
The consultant has said that I’m unable to get counselling within 12 months of the bereavement. Is this true? I’m also told that I most likely have PTSD but I wouldn’t be able to get a diagnosis until 12 months after as that’s when it kicks in. The diagnosis is not a big thing for me, it’s more about getting the right support.
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Hi @masonjay1,
I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Six months isn’t long at all and it’s okay to be struggling with grief - you’re not alone.
It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you’re feeling with us. It is very normal for people who are grieving to feel a bit lost and not know where to start.
We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when they are grieving, and it is often about wanting the person who has died back or life to go back to how we know it. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:
https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/suicide
There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
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If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
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You can call 111 and choose the mental health option to speak to a trained mental health professional (England, Scotland and Wales only)
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Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
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Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
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You can find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline.
In terms of counselling, 12 months does seem like a long time. Not offering counselling immediately after a bereavement is standard practice in all specialist bereavement counselling services as this enables people to find their own way to grieve and to seek professional help later if they are finding that difficult, which research has found to be the most effective approach.
But it’s usually around 8 weeks that people will need to wait before applying for counselling, rather than 12 months. Our counselling service is currently paused to new registrations, but if you have a look on the AtALoss website, you may be able to find another counsellor.
Take good care,
Seaneen
Hey ive recently lost my mama to and i dont believe time is a healer anymore and i dont think it gets easier, i tried bevereament councling and they said i dont need it because im functioning also got told its to early, i personally think their full of sh1t and don’t know what to do except push antidepressants on people when were literally heart broken and in extreme emotional trauma, i think talking helps a little when you can. Hopefully this site can help x
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Hi @masonjay1, I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. What you’re going through is incredibly heavy, and it’s okay to say that it’s hard. Losing a mum is a deep, life-altering loss! I lost mine to cancer in 2023, and I remember those dark moments so clearly. Please know that you’re not alone in this, even though it might feel like it right now.
Sending you so much love and strength. Please don’t hesitate to reach out or speak to someone if things feel too much.
Vanessa