Hello all, I lost my Mum to a quick and very unexpected cancer in October and am finding it harder than ever. She was the healthiest person we knew and it still makes no sense. I thought I was doing ok but feel all over the place, full of anxiety and unable to accept what happened. Also the physical symptoms of grief are getting me down, I’m so tense and achy.
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Dear Aloysius
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your mum. It is not easy to reach out here and I am glad you have as the support in the Community is amazing. Grief is a horrible rollercoaster ride of emotions with good and bad days and it is understandable that you feel all over the place. This is normal and part of the grieving process. In the search bar if you type ‘loss of a parent or mum’ you can connect with Community Members who have experienced the same loss as yourself. It does help to chat to other people.
There are resources by Sue Ryder which may be of help to you at this time.
There is a useful Grief Guide that contains information to help you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief. When you feel ready, it would be worth having a look at it.
It might be helpful for you to book and appointment with your doctor to let them know how you feel and to see how they can support you if you have not done so already and see if your GP can guide you to bereavement support groups. Do you have family and friends that you can talk to?
There is an article on Losing a Parent which may be of help and support to you along with Stages of Grief .
There is an organisation called AtALoss that has useful resources and information for Bereavement support. On their website if you look at Bereavement Services and go down to Location, you can see if your area is listed.
You need to be gentle with yourself and take one day at a time. Not easy I know. Keep reaching out here, we are all here for you. We understand the pain of losing a loved one.
Take care of yourself.
Peppers x
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Dear @Aloysius
I had a thought after I posted my reply to you. There is also Grief Kind Spaces by Sue Ryder. They give people who are grieving access to informal, in-person peer-to-peer support in their local area.
Grief Kind Spaces are weekly, drop-in sessions held in the local community and run by trained volunteers. The sessions provide a safe, informal and supportive place for people to come together and share their experiences of grief, helping attendees to feel heard and less alone.
It would be worth checking your local area for the group. Hope this is of help to you.
Take care of yourself.
Peppers x
Hi Aloysius, very sorry to hear about your Mum . It’s so hard to get your brain to process it - I also lost my mum to a rare and aggressive cancer which took her in weeks -she was so active and well even 3 months before and it was a huge shock.
It took me a year for the shock to receed a little and I still struggle at times to believe it’s permanent , but I have learned to carry it , if that makes sense.
This forum is very helpful and comforting..
Sarah. Xx
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