How do you cope with being left behind. I lost my husband just 6 weeks ago suddenly without any warning and didn’t get the chance to see him before he died to tell him how much he was loved. 6 weeks on all the people have gone but still getting support from my married son and daughter but I cant expect them to fill the huge hole I have in my heart and life it’s not fair on them they have the own lives to lead. I’m so lost and not sure if 6 weeks is a short or long time to be feeling this way but I feel no one else understands it seems like yesterday when he went to work and never came home.
I’m so sorry for your loss , my husband died on 26th April and I know it’s early days but I also feel like you do , we were together 24 years and I have no idea how to move on .
Lots of love xx
I am so sorry to here you are going through the same thing I feel you will understand how I’m feeling. We were together for 13 years but only married just 3 years ago. Every day when I open my eyes I think he will be there lying next me. I talk to him in my head expecting a reply but knowing one wont come is it the same for you?
Yes , I ask him every day to let me know he’s ok and not alone but I haven’t even dreamt of him even though I try every night . I cared for him for many years through his illness and now I have nothing.
My heart is truly broken xx
hi Jane.
im very sorry for the loss of your husband .and 6 weeks is no time at all as regards being able get over in any way shape or form when losing the most important person thats been in your life.i lost my partner of 28 years Jayne on 10th feb and im not coping ,im emotional most of the time,Jayne is on my mind 24/7 she was my world, my best friend, lover and soul mate,the lady i expected to grow old with.all i want is to be with her now.id give anything for that.im just a very weak man whose finding life a struggle,i hope you manage in time to cope with the loss.theres no time frame for bereavement we are all different and what might work for one doesnt always work for another.baby steps as they say.regards ian
So sorry for your loss Jane, my husband of 50 years passed suddenly May 19th last year, I’ve not had any contact with any of his family since his funeral on 30th May. Oh, one of his cousins phoned after 4 months wanting some family information and asked ‘was better and had I got over it’. Only one sister of mine and my mum have remained in contact too.
I’m now on day two of the beginning of the second year without him, I miss him more and more each day, some days are ok some days are not. I have started socialising with what few friends I have left, most have fallen by the wayside makes me feel I’ve contracted leprosy overnight.
I take each day at a time, some days it is broken down into an hour at a time. Theres no time limit on grief and it is unique to each and every one of us. I don’t think I can ever ‘move on’ it is not a phrase i fully understand. We have been together since I was 15 and Alan was 18, how can you move on from a lifetime together!
In time you will find your own path and ways of coping, my late cousin’s wife has told me that you never get over it, you learn to live with it, many other widowed friends have confirmed the same. I have yet to reach that stage, if I ever do.
We are never prepared for this journey we are forced to travel and through this forum we can find support and understanding. We have all lost our husbands/wives/partners, there’s no blueprint to follow, we just ho through each day, one at a time, taking baby steps along the way.
Blessings for strength to help you through this very tough time
Jen☆
KC…
…reading your post is so identical to what happened to me…
I lost my partner Richard 11th April…we had been together 19 years, 17 of those years living together as a couple…I too talk almost non stop to him and unlike Richard I do believe in the afterlife but as yet I have not seen nor experience any sign of his presence, maybe it is still early days but I know he is with me and feel is he seeing and hearing me talking to him and crying…
The only difference is that Richard passed away suddenly on that fateful morning-mid day at home in his armchair in-between taking and collecting our dog from the pet groomer…
Jackie…
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Hi Jane,
6 weeks ago I too lost the love of my life and I feel the same today as I did on the day he passed away and I am sitting here still in shock and disbelief. It doesn’t matter whether anyone thinks 6 weeks is a short time or a long time, I have learned that all I can do is go with how I feel on a daily basis. I can’t see it changing anytime soon either and although we all have family and friends who are there for us it just isn’t the same is it and it never will be! I have just been sitting here crying for the past half hour saying over and over I want him back and logged on to here in desperation to try to find some comfort in the fact that I am not alone and more to the point I am not going mad! Sending a virtual hug x
I am 14 months into my journey. Lost my husband aged 66 within 2 weeks of being told he had terminal cancer. It’s a tough one, losing your soulmate. But love and connection doesn’t end when they pass away. They stay close by. I have had many signs of this. Dreaming is different, so much wanted to see him and for many months nothing. Now he is there but only in the background never interacting directly with me, but that’s ok. You will find you’re on an emotional rollercoaster, can’t imagine we ever get off but we learn to ride it.
Jane, Lynn…none of us have met yet we three and maybe more have one very sad thing in common is, we all lost our beloved partners six weeks ago…for me it will be this Thursday morning…I too, as I am crying, keep repeating " I just want you back…"
Jackie…
The feeling of wanting them back stays, still have it 14 months on, but acceptance becomes part of your grief. You will find comfort the posts/discussion in the forum as they share their experience. Whilst we may all be dealing with loss in different ways, there is a common thread, our love for those we have lost.
I lost my husband last November and the pain and disbelief is still with me every minute of the day. How long will it take me to accept, I have no idea. I get on with my life and keep busy. The things we did together I am still doing. So nothing changed, except that he isn’t with me physically, He is with me though. I know he is with me without a doubt.
A friend told me that when he knows I can cope he will leave me, so I expect to have him around for a long time yet. She also said that when he goes I will accept this. Pat xx
Its good to know I am not alone in how I’m feeling can I ask if you all get asked how are you or are you ok and if so how do you answer. For me I answer I’m you know… and then cant stop welling up and the tears brim over and I just cant control this. I dont want this to happen each time I meet someone I havent seen since it happened but cant seem to control it. Is it normal? Also what do you say other than that?
I lost my husband 8 weeks ago. I talk to him. I cry constantly, say please just come back. I have no idea when I’m supposed to feel better but can see no end to this pain. So sorry for you all. As far as I can understand we will never get over this loss but learn to live with it. I am not sure I can bare to go on feeling this lost. What is it all for ?
I am doing this also Jane. People ask how I am. Its embarrassing sometimes, they have to stand for a few minutes while I compose myself. If given long enough I can say a few words. If I have had a lonely day I cry more. So yes I think it must be very common. I hope light will come one day.
Tears are normal, you have no control, but it will get easier to deal with. But be prepared for moments where it feels it’s coming from your heart. I feel we have three faces, one that hides our true feelings, one we share with those close to us and a private one, the saddest one of all. I’ve been told you can see my sadness in my eyes.
I will be attending my next monthly MS ( Multiple Sclerosis ) Social meeting in a few weeks time, arrangements have been made for one kind lady to come to collect me this will be my first one in the last couple of months and although I need to get out of the home if just to talk to people for a couple of hours, I am dreading the going into the building as I know the routine that we done when my Richard drove me there…Sometimes he would stay, depending on what the evenings subject matter, or sometimes he would pop home then come back to collect me, he was always there right on time, never ever let anyone down, he was tat reliable…Our routine would be come through the door where he would stand outside while I went into the loo, he would always be outside waiting fr me to come out before we ventured through the revolving doors into where the MS members were, he would come in and wait for me to place my raffle prize on the table, say hello to the others then he would leave…at the end I would be looking at the sliding glass door for him to come to collect me, only when I go back I will be looking for him but this time I shan’t be seeing him walking through those sliding doors and coming to collect me, I just know I am going to burst out crying…
Jackie…
Jackie,
For me it will be Friday morning as my partner passed away on Friday 12th April. I just don’t know how I’m going to get through this, I really don’t, but if we can somehow comfort each other on this forum maybe, just maybe, we will find a way through this pain…x
Jackie,
For me it will be Friday morning as my partner passed away on Friday 12th April. I just don’t know how I’m going to get through this, I really don’t, but if we can somehow comfort each other on this forum maybe, just maybe, we will find a way through this pain…x
Lynn…
…the day after I lost my Richard…I lost him on the 11th…the Thursday…