I used to leave for work first so he’d make my sandwiches and carry anything heavy out to my car for me. I always gave him a kiss before I drove off. I rang him on my way home to tell him to put the oven on ready. I haven’t been back to work properly yet but dread it because these little but important things will be missing.
I too thought we had years ahead of us to make so many more memories I always woke up smiling snd happy I still do then I open my eyes and I remember. How can you be in cloud 9 one day then the absolute bottom of the depths of despair the next . It only took 1 moment to change my life into this . . It’s still so hard to comprehend.
Hugs to you
That’s what I have said to people. I spent 95% of my life very happy and then on one ordinary evening my world was shattered.
I had a similar routine. I would pull into a car park and call him in the morning for a chat before work then ring him on the way back home to tell him to put the kettle on. I would then pull up on the drive and he would be at the kitchen window with a bit smile and waiting to greet me back in with a kiss and a hug.
It’s all the little things that made our lives happy and wirth living eh that are now all gone .
Hugs to you
I spoke with my husband three hours before the crash. He was so happy and enjoying the day out. We laughed and joked only for my world to come crashing down when the police answered his phone and dashed me to the hospital. I was even robbed of having the opportunity to say goodbye, or even a chance to tell him to fight to stay with me and the family. A few days earlier I had told work I was retiring and going to spend the rest of our time together travelling and just enjoying being with each other.
That is so horrendous and so very unfair it just makes you wonder what it’s all about eh we’ve been robbed of our happiness right when it’s in reach you deciding to retire to spend your time with him there’s just no words for it all .
We had plans also I had stopped last year when Covid hot I was working in a hospital and couldn’t cope with it so we decided I should just stop and he would stop next January all the plans we had have all gone now we were both so very happy and we were both so looking forward to being free to do whatever we wanted . . The day before he said to me I have never been so happy in my life and it’s all because of you and I said the same to him . Other things he said to me looking back it’s like he knew but he didn’t . Of course . nothing makes any sense to me why should it happen now
Hugs to you
But how does a person move on… You hear a song you listened to with your partner, then comes the pain and you cry. You watch a movie you watched with them. So many things in your day will trigger a memory and the tears just flood out.
Today out walking round the local lake so many couples arm in arm hugging and it just made me feel so alone.
I get each and everyone of us will manage our grief differently as there really is no right or wrong way we must all go at our own pace, I seem to be pushing more and more people away, I can’t seem to deal with people at the moment.
How do you guys manage at night? Without the usual routine of telling your partner you love them and falling asleep together.
I always have a conversation with him before I go to sleep - I always say goodnight.
I think the easy answer about managing at night is that we don’t - I think its when your mind starts wandering and you’re sat in alone with everything. Sorry that’s probably not the answer you wanted.
Its everything that sets you off from going shopping and seeing food they liked, seeing a couple holding hands and together and thinking to yourself why are they able to do that and not me, the list goes on and on.
To be fair I like to be on my own but even then it gets too much and you do need company. I think we are all finding our feet again in unwanted territory and it will take a while or forever to work it all out.
I get it baby steps… That’s all we can do be strong take a day at a time.
Well I wish you guys lots of strength and hope you all manage some sleep gnight and take care
How long ago did you lose your loved one Lostinlimbo?
There’s so many things that set you off in our day cos they were part of us and everything we shared with them and things only between the two of you . . I always talk to my partner and especially at night and I tell him I love him and goodnight and kiss his photo I think you have to do anything you can thsts right for you . It’s all so unbearable.
Take care all of you
Sja, Lost her in March, had 26 fantastic years together, so I’m thankyou for that but now it’s come to a end it just wasn’t enough but still I found my soul mate so I’m luckier then many.
Janeets, seems we both pretty much share the same routine, after talking to her I kiss her picture and my wedding ring… But its it’s all unbearable. You take care x
I wake early so after my morning walk I’d fix her a cup of coffee. Earlier we manage to buy some Java beans; I would hand grind the beans and used the french press to make coffee for her. After a few times I had figured out how she liked the concentration. When she woke she’d take the coffee out to the balcony with breakfast and we’d have a chat overlooking the city. Having no one on my side when I wake up in the middle of the night, no one to welcome me home after a day of work, the empty seat when I have dinner with my only daughter, that little sculpture of 3 cats on a swing representing the 3 our us we bought when we travel…those little things are the hardest. Everyday they remind me of those lovely days we once have.
I’m so sorry for your loss it’s definitely all the routine things that we miss suddenly it all just stops and your left wondering what happened one minute they were here then they are gone .
When did she pass away ?
Sending hugs to you take care
thanks Janeets. It’s been 4 months since she left me and our 15 yo girl. I wish I could love her take care of her again. We’ve been together 32 years married for 25. We were childhood sweethearts we went through all the ups and downs together. Just when we thought we would enjoy some better days she’s gone. Now I am at a loss feeling lost and vulnerable.
It’s all so sad it makes you wonder what it’s all about why when you were at a wonderful time in your life would that happen .
I lost my partner 16 weeks ago suddenly we were inseparable and loved each other so much we had plans and in January he was going to stop working and we were goi g to enjoy our life it’s all so unfair for us all we all feel so lost without them .
My heart goes out to you please take care of yourself and keep posting on here I find it very helpful as we are all feeling the sane
Hugs to you
Hey Lucky star, 32 years is a fair time to have that love, people are lucky to find love but to have it for 32 years must have been a blessing. Granted of course you’d have wanted it for eternity but sadly life can be so cruel. It must be really hard for your daughter bless her coming to the final stages of school before heading off in a career just to lose probably the closet person in her life and of course you have to stay strong for her so it’s harder for you to grieve.
My heart goes out to you both and I hope somehow you two can help each other through the dark times ahead. Star strong my friend.
we’ve planned our early retirement in mid 2022 in Taiwan, A few weeks before she passed we went there to get our documents and have a taste of living there. We both love the place and people. We would first send our daughter to study in UK then we would move there, away from all the horrible things happening right here in Hong Kong. This is unfair.
I understand the living hell you are in at the moment. This is so hard isn’t it? You have so many plans and you’re not asking too much just 2 of you together. This world is incredibly cruel.