60 today

Lying in bed sobbing it’s my 60th birthday I just want my husband back he would have made it so special.

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@Kim5 hi Kim I’m so sorry for your loss and your pain it’s my birthday on Monday it will be my first without my soulmate pauline to me now its just another day it doesn’t mean anything without her its so painfull and lonely this existence we now have my thoughts are with you and you are welcome to message me anytime you want to chat take care sending hugs x

Thank you
Your right just another painful day will be thinking of you for Monday
Take care x

@Kim5 thankyou Kim you take care I do hope you get some moments of peace x

Hi Kim.
I don’t want to say ‘Happy birthday’ because I know it will never be the same again but I want to say that I am thinking of you. My husband was buried 3 days after my birthday and the last time I saw him at the funeral parlour was on my birthday. I took him a red rose and I told him that it was the last time I was ever going to see him. I am 70 in October and it would have been such a special occasion but I just want it to pass as another pointless day.
I send you love and hope you get through the day as best you can.

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HI Casey. I don’t post as much as I used to but I always read your posts. I just want to say I will be thinking of you on Monday. It would be cruel to say 'Happy birthday
I am sure Pauline will be watching over you.

Thank you it’s so hard. I got through today with my family I did have tears but I have tears every day still. I know Mick would have gone all out for me. So sorry for your loss xx

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Hi Kim, such hard horrible times, no words can express the pain, take care.

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@Angiejo2 hi angiejo thankyou I am so sorry for your pain and heartbreak it must have been so hard and heartbreaking seeing him for the last time on your birthday and the funeral being so close after my thoughts are with you take care sending love and hugs x

Sending love, big hugs and blessings to you both. Your right Birthdays don’t matter anymore. S xxxx

Just thinking of you Casey. Sat in the garden for a bit of respite and you came to mind.
Thanks for your lovely reply. I remember Ron always sent me a card with beautiful words and he always propped it up against a candlestick on our dining table. It was the first thing I had to open on my birthday. He was like a lovely big kid. The first birthday he was gone I looked at the table and wept buckets because there was no card leaning there against the candlestick. I felt so desolate. No other cards seemed to matter the same.
I do hope though that you get through today OK. Xxxxx

@Angiejo2 hi angiejo that’s is so sweet that Ron did that for you it sounds like he picked the cards for the words reading in your message that he did that for you made me smile thankyou I needed that I used to take ages picking a card for pauline and like Ron the words had to be right i didn’t want to celebrate my birthday today so I didn’t its the first birthday I have spent crying I didn’t get one card or any birthday wishes of any of my family not that I wanted any but it would have been nice if one of them had contacted me to see if I’m OK it just shows what I already knew I have lost the only person who loved me and I would take her love over anyone’s its the little things that we miss too the sweet loving gestures I look at her picture and cry but the picture I have on here of us together her smiling face just makes me smile if you don’t mind me asking was Ron a romantic guy he sounds like he was I know we are all going through pain and heartbreak but we were blessed to have had the loves we did and the love Pauline had for me and gave me will last me the rest of my life until I join her take care angiejo sending love and hugs x

Aw I am so sorry Casey that you didn’t even get a card. People are just so selfish sometimes and don’t think of others when it matters most.
Ron was not really a romantic but because he found it hard to express it to me but he put me on a pedestal and people were forever telling me how much he adored me. I remember on our wedding day though when I arrived in the car, he looked at me and said “you look like a princess” He was always telling people that, and I never doubted he loved me so much. He had many faults too but don’t we all?
You take care and keep putting one foot in front if the other. You are in my thoughts.xxxx This grief thing is the most unimaginable pain.

@Angiejo2 hello angiejo that’s lovely that he called you his princess and yes we all have faults I imagine Ron was brought up old school I used to find it hard to express my feelings pauline helped me get past that though I still wonder if I showed her enough just how much she means to me I don’t think I did everyday but I think she knew I loved her and you are right this grief is the most unimaginable pain when I’m at my worst I think of happy times with pauline and her smiling and thank God that I had her in my life keep on plodding along ron would be so proud of you and you are always in my thoughts take care love and hugs x

Thanks Casey. Much love and thoughts.
Xx

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