Since the age of 15 my nan ( who I was already extremely close too) became like a mother to me, when my own up and left us. My nan was my world my inspiration my go to person even as I reached my 30s she has always been there. Such a strong beautiful dignified woman who loved us all in more ways than I can put into words.
In Aug of this year she was taken in to hospital after her health declined since the previous Christmas.
She sadly passed away on Spet 24th this year and shattered me in more ways than I can describ and has left a void in me that I know will never be filled.
I’m very lucky to have a nearly 3 year old who keeps me going and an amazing husband and friends and family who are a god send. But grief is so personal and I’m hoenstly struggling
Its been two months and I. Still in so much pain over it all. Some days im fine, other days it can hit me when least expected that she’s gone and she’s never coming back. Other days like tonight as I sit and right this it hits me so hard I can’t see through the tears.
I know they say time is a healer and griefe is something very individual.
But sometimes I feel like my pain my grief is a burden to others and I don’t know who to turn too. My husband says I’m not a burden but he works long hard hours and some times I don’t want to dump this all on him the second he comes home.
I feel as if I just need someone to talk too who won’t think I’m just going on and should be over it already someone who won’t judge as 8 weeks in I’m still hurting as much as I am
Thansk for listening, that in itself means so it.
Bless you Vic. It’s been a mere 8 weeks, of course you’re still hurting. Time is no healer when it comes to losing someone you love. What time does is lessen the searing pain in your heart, but it can never heal fully. Your nan sounds a very special lady and played a major part in your life. You expect too much of yourself, slow down, grieve and cherish the memories.
I lost my darling husband nearly 18 months ago, very suddenly. I have learnt to smile and laugh again but there are still moments when grief and sadness overwhelm me and I think that will always be. I’m ok with that because truly I don’t want to ever get over losing him.
I write a journal to my husband and tell him all the stuff that’s been happening, how I’m feeling and how I love him. It’s just like chatting to him really. I tell everyone this because it has helped me so much and still does. Perhaps you could try writing to your nan. You’ll be surprised how much better you feel after.
I am so sorry for your loss and you have my deepest sympathy. Sending love and a hug xx
Neither my wife nor I ever knew a grandparent, but we saw all seven of our own reach legal adulthood.
The bond was, and is, very strong, particularly with the eldest. We acted in loco parents for him from the age of 8 as he was at boarding school in UK whilst his parents were abroad. Then it was university, then a job in London.
Over what became the final year of his Nanny’s life he experienced a truly awful time, but the bond strengthened in this adversity as we were able to stand by him.
Needless to say, perhaps, but at age 30 he is grieving his Nanny’s death as acutely as I am. She died twelve weeks ago today.
So he’s still hurting, just like you, and I hurt for him too.
I can’t ease your grief, but I can at least tell you that you are not alone.
What a lovely, kind and understanding response Edwin. I hope Vic gets some comfort from it. X
All of your words have been so kind and understanding and I hoenstly think at times just knowing someone elsecout there knows and understands how this feels. I know my family do, my dad my sister etc but they grieve differently to me and I sometimes feel like I can burden them with my grief too.
I’m so sorry for all of your losses too and I hope over time it eases for us all.
Than you for taking the time to read my message and reply. And Crazy Kate I think I’m going to try wring to my nan, that sounds like a good thing and I’m Glad you have been able to take some comfort from it.
Big hugs to all in such a hard time we are all navigating through