8 weeks in

Having real tearful days , unrelenting sadness engulfing me!
Sleep is elusive so tired , yet I am not able to quieten the heart and head ,
Feel so alone with myself , family try bless them , they are not my husband!
8 weeks tomorrow!
Still seems unreal that he has gone! Seeing other people going on with their lives, whilst I am stuck in this miserable :sob: time!


Hello, my heart goes out to you. I know the pain, sadness and how unrelenting it is and those early weeks are like a nightmare. Things do get easier, never goes away but we won’t want to lose our special loved person. Take extra care of yourself. S xx

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Thank you x

I can so relate to that feeling of unrealness and disbelief @j.mstone.

I’m a bit ahead of you on this hard road- 14 weeks for me - but, yes, the tears are never very far away and the most ridiculous things can open the floodgates (lamb chops in Marks and Spencer’s food Hall last week! - don’t ask).

It is still early days for us jm, and the folk who’ve been here before us all say the same thing - it takes time to adjust.

I find that keeping busy, both physically and mentally, helps.

I suppose it’s a form of diversional therapy - a way of focusing on something else other than the huge, huge loss.

I’ve started writing myself a list every Sunday, of things I want to have done by the end of the week.
Nothing earth shattering - just the minutiae of life’s admin.
It helps to give me a purpose, otherwise I find myself wandering aimlessly from room to room wondering why I came in here.

You are so right when you say other people are not your husband.
No they’re not and they’re not mine either jm.

Hang on in there.

We will adjust - because we have to.

Sorry for your loss.


I thank you for your kindness, some days I think I should return to work! Then other times I am glad I am signed off! This has to be the hardest thing I have ever faced! There is no running away is there!
My thoughts to you and your journey xx

No @j.mstone, there is no running away otherwise we’d all be queuing to get on that bus!

Regarding going back to work, I would take your time, particularly if your employer is not very sympathetic and understanding.

From their point of view, it can be easier to manage an employee who isn’t there at all rather than one who sometimes is but sometimes isn’t , depending on how they feel on the day.

Be kind to yourself.

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Thank you for the advice , xx

You have given yourself good advice, try & keep busy, regardless how mundane the task.
I look at the dust under the TV - but why worry - it will still be there tomorrow, Saturday ,maybe even next Thursday!
Housework is less important now.

G. X


I have to ask ?
Why lamb chops ? Xx

I hate lamb chops @j.mstone but my lovely husband loved them.
He was a real carnivore and would gnaw happily on a chop bone until it was stripped bare.
I caught sight of the chops in M and S and just fleetingly thought, there’s something else I’ll never buy again…because he’s not here…and then the tears started.

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Oh bless you!
Thank you for telling me xx

I find going shopping is still upsetting, I rush pass the items I would buy for Ian but they seem to be everywhere!

Recently our youngest grandchild was asked which flavour of crisps she wanted - her answer was - granddad’s! She used to “sample” off his plate & he would pretend to be annoyed.
A simple but lovely memory.

G. X

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It’s great that the grandchild keeps the memories alive , that is always my fear that I will never forget my dear departed husband, and I do not want others to forget him xx

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Hi, hello,
I’ts 16 months since my hubby passed & I still at times find in unreal.
My head knows he isn’t coming back but I find myself expecting him to be coming back from walking the dog or tidying the garden, thinking I must tell him this or that.
Things do get easier - but the “moments” hit randomly - even having to pull in while driving.
Grandchildren are a bonus - without your hubby, they wouldn’t be here :heart:

G. X