9 months on

So since my first post, it is almost 9 months since my dad passed away. I’ve been doing ok, managed to get through the fathers day, birthdays and anniversaries all ok. Now on Friday we are going to pick up dad’s ashes, which has started me off again. I have tried for my mum to ring the funeral directors to get them sorted, however in the end she has asked me to ring them to collect. So exactly 9 months to the day we are going to pick them up. I’m really not looking forward to doing this and it has brought back all my grieving emotions. I have tried to make light of it by saying well we could take dad shopping with us( obviously we will leave them in the car). My dad was a joker and would find that really funny. I think that i’ll be fine once we get them, but it is just the thought of it before hand once collected we are going to get some memorial jewellery, which is really lovely as someone gave me that idea when one of my friends who husband had passed had a jacket of his on and some one else said that it is like having a constant hug, so I am looking forward to getting a necklace as i will be having a hug all the time.
I read other people’s post and reading some this evening about having a sign like a white feather, I have had this experience to as well as a robin. We have a family in our garden, but also lately every time i go to my mums to take her food shopping on coming out as my mum only has a small front garden a Robin has been there every time, so I know that my dad is here in spirit. I also had a funny experience a few months ago. As already said my dad was a bit of a joker, a few years ago dad brought us all them alarms which you put on your keyring and to make it work you have to pull out the pin. Anyway I have never pulled the pin out. So this particular day, think it was just before my birthday, i was feeling down during the day as one of my colleagues was asking what i was doing for my special birthday and it made me upset as i know my dad wouldn’t be around to see in my 50th. Anyway, whilst in the food shop, the pin came out of the alarm and it fell to the floor so embarrassing and managed to quickly pit the pin back in. My dad would have thought that was hilarious as he was good at embarrassing me whilst out. So i took this as a sign that he was there telling me not to mope and that i was doing ok looking after mum etc. Thought that i would share that with you all as i want to make other people laugh, even though at this present moment i am weeping. Xx


Thank you Maria for sharing and ok I smiled but also knew it would be heartbreaking. Yes, I do also believe that our loved one are around us and sometimes it feels very real. The first time I knew for a fact that my husband had been here helping me was quite early on, I needed to do some mathematical working out and had no idea how to but suddenly I knew which is no normal for me. He was a brilliant at maths, I still get shivers thinking about but there’s been other things and the same with my father. It all helps us get through those hard days. Just keep looking. S xx

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Sorry for ur loss. I hope u managed to get his ashes ok. I lost my mam nearly 8 months ago…I wear her jewellery all the time her rings and her necklace I never take them off. I don’t have any jewellery made from the ashes but I did get her a lovely urn. It’s a cream glass heart with a silver heart base it’s totally beautiful, very modern. I have it in my living room next to her photos. Every morning I say good morning to her, every night I say good night to her. It means she just lives with me now. Not out of sight or out of mind but anyone coming into my home doesn’t know it’s an urn unless I tell them xx

That’s a lovely idea and yes many of us talk to our special person. I tell my husband all about my day before I go to sleep and say good morning each day. Sometimes I think I am ‘losing it’ but so what, if it helps me then that’s what really matters. Look after yourself. S xxx

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