I’ve no idea why today is any different to any other day but I’m having a bad one. I’m feeling so sorry for myself. I want things to go back to how they were before she got cancer. I miss her so much.
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Hi I know exactly how you feel . I just need my hubby back and my happy life back . Instead of this pure hell im exsisting in . Thinking of you xtake carex
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Morning Peter, Think you could have the Bank Holiday Blues!!! you know the one when we imagine everybody is having a lovely time apart from us… We know it’s not
really true but that’s what this relentless bereavement does to us sadly. There are so many events on but it’s not the same going to them on your own or even with a friend.
Sorry if this isn’t very helpful but just wanted to let you know that you’re not on your own with your feelings. and hope maybe you can look in the local paper and find something on where you can go. Thinking of you and anyone else feeling like this .
Love Jenny x
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Kingfisher.
I think you may have put your finger on it. The bank Holiday hadn’t occurred to me. There’s lots of stuff going on where I live this weekend. Roads are closed. I read in the paper that there’s market stalls and music. I was going to go and have a look but don’t much feel like it by myself but I feel that I should force myself to go out. Not sure if that’s the right thing to do the way I’m feeling at the moment.
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It’s strange that a Bank Holiday weekend affects us all . I keep telling myself it’s no different to any other weekend, but TV and radio presenters keep saying “Hope you’re enjoying the weekend”. Well I’m not enjoying it. I feel sad and lonely. Just sitting here trying to get motivated to do a bit of tidying up in the garden.
Thinking of you all
X
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Hi Anne.
A friend of mine from when we were at school and then teenagers together passed away this week. He was 70 the same age as me. I wonder if that’s having a bearing on how I feel today.
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Hi peterj
So sorry you have lost a friend. I’m sure you have lots of memories of growing up in the 60’s. I understand how you feel as sadly 2 friends have passed away since my husband died.
It’s not surprising that this is affecting the way you feel today.
Sending hugs
X
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Hello Peter. Today is really bad for me too . I want my old life back , this one is hell . My thoughts are with you on this really difficult road .
Love Angie xx
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Hi Angie
I want my old life back too. My partner passed away last Oct. so this time last year she was still here but suffering terribly with cancer. Two years ago we didn’t know that she was ill. I want to go back to before that but I can’t. Thank you for your reply. I know I’m far from the only one suffering.
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Oh I totally get how you are all feeling and it’s not just the bank holiday. There are no good days since my hubby passed suddenly and unexpectedly 3 months ago but my days have been particularly bad since our Wedding Anniversary on Thursday after 30 yrs together. We lived a full life enjoying each other’s company quietly or getting out and about, holidays etc.
I feel like a bomb has been dropped on my life destroying everything and leaving me on my own teetering on the edge of a huge black crater surrounded by a dark plume which no sunny day can permeate. Don’t get me wrong I’m trying my best to get through but I miss him terribly and the sadness is unbearable at times. No amount of invites from friends and families could replace going what I enjoyed with my hubby. Why do we have to suffer for having loved and been loved so much?
I’ve been asked to my step sons for a small family bbq, my other step son will be there too and grandkids but I’m dreading it…which feels wrong as I love them and want to see them all but it’s the first get together without my husband and know I’ll be imagining him smiling and laughing. It’s such an effort to hide my emotions to protect them, but I will and will be glad of the distract I’m sure. My whole life just feels like one huge effort doing things I don’t want to just to fill time.
I hope you all manage to find some peace in the coming days and some enjoyment from any plans you may have x
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I’m feeling exactly the same. Don’t know why Bank Holidays are so difficult to deal with. The sun is shining but I feel so sad- I just want my honey back.
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Hi jlovesR. I’m so sorry for your loss. My partner and I were together for 28 years. Seco d time round for both of us. No children from ours or previous relationships so I feel very alone. Her passing wasn’t sudden, she suffered with cancer treatment for a year, and I always believed that she’d be cured but it wasn’t to be. I get invited to stuff by caring friends and family and go sometimes but often I have to force myself to get me out of the house and if I don’t go they worry about me. None of this is easy, is it.
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I understand exactly how you’re feeling! Everything seems such an effort and the only person you want to do things with isn’t here! I lost my husband 6 months ago- he was my best friend and soul mate. We couldn’t believe we’d found each other after previous failed marriages. Well meaning people tell you to be grateful for what you had and remember all the things you enjoyed together but it doesn’t help, maybe someday it will but at the moment life just seems to stretch ahead .
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I too having a bad day. I lost my husband who I was with for 55yrs in April after taking ill on a Monday afternoon and had to switch his life support off on the Thursday morning I can’t stop crying all day it’s been the worse day how do I go on
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Hi Yvonne. I’m so sorry for your loss. My partner passed away last Oct. I don’t think this gets any easier for any of us but although for some reason today has been a bad day I have found that the bad days have got farther apart. My best wishes to you.
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Yvonne
I am so sorry for your loss
Your body will protect you
If you need to cry
You have to cry it’s how your coping with your grief
Just take every day as it comes
Some will be better than others
I’m sorry to say that’s how life will be from now on
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Hi Peter, thank you for your kind words I not only can’t stop crying but I get so angry that he has gone and left me. I never had to cut the grass before but now I cut the grass crying ! I have two dogs so I have to get them fed and walked they have been my rock but I look at his empty chair and I fall apart. I don’t think my life will ever be the same again
Best wishes to you
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Yvonne I don’t think any of our lives will ever be the same again mine certainly won’t.
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JlovesR
Your words are so true…especially the huge black crater and life being one huge effort…
And yes…why do we have to suffer for having loved, and been loved?
They say it is the price you pay, but it just feels like a cruel punishment.
Hoping too that you find some peace in the world we have found ourselves in.
x
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I keep being told ‘at least you have your memories this weekend I realised Memories are only lovely and good when you can share them and laugh and smile with the person you made them with. This is is a version of hell I never knew existed.
It been 9 weeks on Thursday since I lost my husband and it’s not getting any easier in fact I’d say in a lot of ways it’s harder, I feel lost isolated and broken and I do t see a future.
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