I remember reading a column about a year ago of someone who’s wife had passed away 4 months ago and he had found a new partner I was horrified and told him so on this chatline well my wife passed on 18 months ago and I have met a widow and we have formed a partnership I am not sure how far this will go and also if I could ever love again I feel so guilty but just enjoy this persons company so much is this wrong is it to soon there are so many questions I ask everyday she is also a widow so we understand each other more can someone tell me is this ok
To my mind it seems completely right if it’s the right thing for you. Does it really matter what anyone else thinks. Why deny yourself the opportunity of having a meaningful relationship. We can’t live in the past, that’s water under the bridge.
I can imagine that we’re I in your position I would have feelings of guilt but I’m not sure that there’s much point in feeling guilty. Maybe it’s misplaced loyalty or a sense of betrayal but, thinking about it rationally, that’s not going to achieve much. We can’t change what happened.
I hope it goes well for you and that you can be clear about what you want.
Dear George
As ever, Yorkshire Lad offers sound advice!
I am quite sure that everything in this life happens for reasons we mortals can’t begin to understand…if you have been blessed enough to meet someone to share your days with don’t overwhelm yourself with doubts and guilt…just take it day by day and enjoy the moment. None of us should judge each other or question gifts given. I hope all goes well for you and your new friend…it’s so nice when out for a walk to meet someone else to share the path ahead! Take care ×
Only you can know if you are ready for a new relationship, but there is nothing wrong with spending time with some that makes you happy and seeing where that goes. I thought you might be interested to speak to Crystalou, who has posted about a similar situation where she is starting to have feelings for someone new: https://support.sueryder.org/community/life-after-bereavement/moving-2
Thank you for your thoughts
Thank you for your thoughts I must admit we like each other a lot I cannot say love as this to new for me but I like my friend a lot and I think for now and hope that’s fine with het
If course it’s not wrong. In fact it’s wonderful if you can find some joy in life again. Would your wife have wanted you to be miserable for the rest of your life? I imagine not. I was widowed 2 1/2 years ago and have just met somebody. I don’t know if it’ll go anywhere but I do know that the way I feel now compared to the way I have been feeling is absolutely wonderful. Life is short, we all know that. Please, make the most of it and don’t forget that you will be making somebody else very happy as well if it works out for you
Thank you for that I have had nothing but positive replies and it has made me feel a whole lot better and I believe I have come to terms within myself still working on my children but it has got a lot better
My hubby told me before he died to rememeber one thing, we as humans are capable of loving more than one person in our lifetime and that one love doesnt detract from another. it was his way of telling me that it was okay to live and love after he was gone, your wife would have wanted that for you too because she loved you and wanted you to be happy. x
George, the advice that you are being given on here is from people that have walked in your shoes, others that havent even our children have no right to tell you what to do or feel ( yes tred carefully and go slowly with them they will see you happy and want what is best for you, dont rush it) you know what is in your heart, be happy. I dont know if i will love again but i hope so. x