Am really feeling the loss of my Mum at the moment.
It is just coming up to the first anniversary of discovering she was terminally ill. From then will be anniversaries of her coming home, not being able to get out of bed and everything that followed. Also so many first times I do things without her, going to concerts, local events, etc.
The lasts for me are the last Spring and Summer in the family home as it has just been sold, (I lived with Mum). Last time I will see certain plants flower in the garden as I cannot take everything with me.
I keep being told I can take my memories with me when I leave the house but it really isn’t helping. I make constant lists of everything I need to do and what to take with me and it is so overwhelming. In some ways I am looking forward to moving to a new house that I can make my own but I just wish Mum could have been here to see me do it.
As an aside I find I cannot look at photographs of Mum now without collapsing in tears. At first I was fine and loved looking at them. Has anyone else found this?