My Dad died 6 weeks ago, I’ve only just had his funeral. I’m an only child and my parents got divorced when I was young. Dad was around for a bit and then disappeared for about 10 years. We then got back in touch with each other but the past two years, I distanced myself as Dad was drinking himself to death. I always knew the phone call was coming and didn’t expect it to hit me like it did.
I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus. I’ve been shocked, in disbelief, sad and then felt comfort in making his service perfect for him.
And now, I feel guilt. Guilt I let him die alone, guilt I never let him know I loved him and I forgave him.
Now I don’t know what to do. How do I carry on with my life without my Dad knowing how much I love him?
I’ve noticed signs of him being here with me but maybe I’m just going crazy.