Accidental death and no closure

11 and a half weeks ago I spoke to my partner who was at work in the North Sea. He promised to come home safe to me and told me he loved me. Later that day, he fell through the floor of the rig he was working on and has never been found, lost to sea.
We were both so happy together, we had had an amazing Christmas, new year in Prague snd celebrated my 50th birthday away with my daughters and family. Yet 2 weeks later he was gone!
I’m struggling, can’t sleep, if I eat I’m sick and constant pain in heart. Still signed off work snd seeing a counsellor. I try and put a smile on for my girls (17 and 9) but I feel so empty.
I feel no one understands, I have lost close friends and family before, but no matter how hard their loss I could rationalise because of illness and we went through ritual of funeral etc.
Jason’s loss is different, he was healthy, we had plans, there was risks with the nature of his job, falling through a floor was not one of them. Why him? So many questions I’ll never have answers too, he’s still deemed missing even though could not have survived. I spend hours googling what happens to a body lost at sea, tidal snd wind direction just to see where his body may end up,
Friends and family have no idea what to say to me, others say the most inappropriate things. Because it was in the press, treating it almost like a crime tv programme.
Is there anyone else who has lost their partner to a tragic accident, and their body not been found that can offer any advice on how they coped please?
Sending love to everyone on their grief journey, it really is a lonely club to be in x


This is incredibly difficult for you. Not having closure is so hard, I can’t comprehend going through the not knowing.if he’s classed as missing ,are you in limbo with regards the practical side of death?
8m so sorry you are having to go through this!


@trudyc i am so sorry to read your sorry which is so sad and heartbreaking. My husband had the covid vaccine then went to work felt dizzy and fell from a height at work. He smashed his elbow and broke ribs and had a head injury. 20 months later he died suddenly from a rear blood clot and stage 4 kidney cancer which he never knew he had. He worked up to the day before, He was 53. I was at work and missed him by 10 minutes. I google a lot to try and find answers as no closure. I am convinced that the fall is connected to his illness though the doctor says otherwise. I try not to google so much as making me ill. Obviously your situation is different from mine and must be so hard for you with no closure. You must be in so much shock. Hope you’re have a lot of support Big hugs xx

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@trudyc I am so sorry for your loss, its been so hard coping with a sudden death due to cardiac arrest whilst cycling but at least we got to sit with him in ITU. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


I’m so sorry reading your post and can not imagine the terrible situation you find yourself in.
My loss was equally sudden but, like others who have replied, we had his body to bury and no uncertainty.

The only aspect I can help with is the suddenness of it and the loss of what we should have had ahead of us. He hadn’t retired yet so the plans we had of spending more time together didn’t happen.
People on here will support you as much as we can but can’t begin to understand the extra emotional and practical difficulties in your situation.
Maybe someone from admin can help point you in the right direction for some specialist help. @Seaneen?
Sending you much love
Karen xxx