after losing Jayne and planning my my service and funeral

on 10th Feb 2019,my life ended as I know it,sadly everything to do with Jaynes funeral and service were taken out of my the hospice when Jayne took her last breath apart from my heart sinking and tears rolling down my cheek,i wasn’t in a good place Jaynes mum Ann said she would sort out the funeral arrangements,all that went through my mind was wanting to be with I said as long as I end up with Jayne when I passed thats all I wanted.Ann said oh we have a family plot.
little did I know all the words uttered from this ladies mouth were to appease me and hide from me her real feelings.over the weeks this lady under handed ways and calculated aims of pushing me out of hers and Jaynes life started to become apparent to me.As in I found out the father of the catholic church hadn’t been told Jayne had a partner never mind that we were together for 28 years. luckily Jaynes best friend Karen and her husband helped. I got to see the father and he was shocked that Ann a long time parishioner and supposed devout catholic had decided this wasn’t important.the father must of rang Ann to discuss why she had took this course of action.i only know this had occurred because later that evening Karen called to say Ann had called her and was spouting venom and saying nasty things about me.Karen pointed out over the years Jayne had heart to heart chats and whatever things were said that may of been true Karen knew and she knew Jayne loved me with all her heart as I loved Jayne with all my heart as all this nastiness coming form her mouth was answered knowing the history from Jayne.Ann made a comment that I must of brain washed her .Karen didn’t have to tell me what Ann had said as having been told by Ann that if Jayne had written a will she would leave everything to her and her husband.not sure how many children with long term partners would write wills leaving everything to their parents.Ann had also put in the paper all the nieces and nephews on Jaynes side when describing the up coming funeral .when I read it ,I rang and asked politely why none of my immediate family had been mentioned.her response was because she loves her nieces and nephews,implying she didn’t love mine.
this was one of many signs over the weeks and months that showed this lady was evil and had an hidden agenda which I had been realising since the if Jayne had written a will remark.she obviously begrudged Jaynes relationship with me and hoped to end up with all of Jaynes assets.i did not indicate I was aware of her underlying aim.i took all her underhand actions in my stride.dont think I lost my temper or showed her and aggression what soever even when getting a phone call asking what did I do for Jayne and were did we go that we never went out together etc etc.if Ann is a typical devout catholic its a sad state of affairs.although when having the meeting with the father a day before the funeral,id mentioned Ann mother Francis and how lovely she was and how much I had liked her sadly she passed in 2014.the father said yes Francis was a very lovely lady and a remark he made indicated he was aware Ann was the opposite to Francis.
I knew then that Jayne had got her loving giving helpful traits from her wonderful grandma Francis.other underhand events occurred sure ive mentioned them a few aim of getting this I need to arrange for my own piece of own funeral and service which will hopefully done as I service need to incorporate Jayne my love for my soulmate my desire to be with Jayne.and I was hoping to get advice from you wonderful people as ive got my will drafted and I want this to be an amendment which the executors of my will ,will hopefully follow to the letter once ive managed to get it all down in writing .I want my funeral service to be more about my love for Jayne than about me.i hope some of you will please help me.
tthank you for anyone who managed to read my post
regards ian
ps any advice or opinion will be gratefully appreciated.
thank you.

Hi Ian, I don’t use the forum over much anymore but when I glanced here the other day I saw a message that I think you had sent to Jaynes mobile. I can’t admit to noticing how recently this was but, I know I saw it.

In answer to your question, if you want to speak of your loving relationship with Jayne upon your death, in a similar way that you did through your text message to her, maybe you could write a paragraph to be incorporated into your WILL and ask that it be read out at your funeral service. Also, incorporate into your WILL your wishes for your funeral service and burial i.e. you wish to be buried with Jayne. You could even cover any costs for this prior to the time coming, just to add further assurance for yourself, perhaps!

These are just some thoughts to try to help you Ian and I’m sure others will advise their ideas too. Maybe make one of your executors the solicitor who finalises your WILL for you. Just to cover yourself from a legal perspective.

Remember this though Ian, as important as all of this is for you, we leave behind our bodies only, our hearts and souls will go straight to our loved ones, regardless of where our bodies remain.

That said, I understand completely the importance of all of this for you. I hope to be buried with my gorgeous hubby when I too depart this earth. So, I do get it.

I do though put every ounce of faith and hope that I can muster into believing that regardless of my resting place I will absolutely be reunited with my man when my time comes. Please God…:heart::pray:

Love to you x


Hi Ian
I have tried to send you a private message to give you some information but it doesn’t seem to want to send. Can you try and send me a private message that I can respond to.

Hi San,

We’ve had some reports of people seeing an error message that says ‘internal server error’ when sending private messages. However, I’ve looked into this and it appears that the messages are actually sending even when the error message comes up.

I’m working on stopping the error message from appearing, but in the meantime, your private message should still have gone through.

Yes, I got that message and tried a few times, same message and no indication that it went. Not on my list of messages :thinking:

thank you CW13
sadly I cannot be with Jayne when I die as Jaynes mum as her ashes and even though I offered to pay have them interred and a headstone I was treated like a nobody.even though I know I meant as much to Jayne as Jayne means to me.this lady as an agenda which included making me suffer.not that anything she could do could me me feel worse than losing Jayne.just rather than get comfort I got nastiness from her and the brothers.
I was find out how I can communicate whats in my heart and soul in words which will convey how much Jayne means to me ,and have the hair of Jaynes I have in a plastic bag I have in my left hand side pocket ,buried with me .plus a few other personal items.
ive been told write this down on a separate piece of paper,but im having trouble putting what I would like tio be done and my feeling into words that express those feelings.sorry think im making little sense but im trying .

I received your message thank you.ive responded and tried to explain my situation.

Hi San,
I am glad to hear that Ian did get your message. You can also check under ‘sent’ in your private message inbox to see whether things have sent.

Your Jayne’s family had a family plot alright, Ian, a plot to cut you out of her life, even in death.