I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. It sounds as though things are very tough at the moment and you are feeling overwhelmed.
I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and as mentioned by other users above, there is always help and support available to you online.
Sue Ryder offers online bereavement counselling. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling
I lost my husband to alcoholic liver failure 8 weeks ago, it was absolutely awful to watch him go in that way. I always knew he drank too much, as do I, but didn’t think it was enough to kill him. He was 53 and had to retire early due to severe anxiety. I just retired myself in July so we could spend more time together, but instead I’m now here on my own and like a lot of you wishing I was with him. I don’t want to be here, I cry all the time and feel so lonely. Can’t see a future without him, he was taking prescription strength cocodamol for bad headaches and when I took his medication back to the chemist I kept some as a backup plan. We loved each other so much, he was my world, my everything. I too am drinking lots to just get through the day and the pain. Keep telling him I’ll see him soon.
Nita
@Ariley60 I understand exactly how you feel. Please take care and don’t drink yourself into oblivion. I have had a few times when I wake up and can’t remember what happened the night before. I suppose if we just want to die it’s one way to do it. Living alone now I am not sure how to deal with it all. I hope you are okay and please don’t feel that anything you are doing is wrong.
Thanks for replying, I feel so alone, nobody seems to understand. We are a very small family unit and everyone else seems to be dealing with it better than me, but they didn’t see or go through what I did. He was a proud man and to see him reduced to how he was at the end haunts me, he lost the ability to speak and much more. I keep reliving everything from waking up to sleeping and having a drink is the only thing that helps.
Hi. Nita. Welcome. Yes, it is indeed painful and sad. this subject of drinking has come up so many times before. I don’t think anyone would say ‘don’t do it’, that’s far too simplistic, but moderation in all things. We can all preach of the dangers of alcohol, but we are not in your shoes and have no idea of how you feel. However, We do share a common bond on here and that’s the awful pain of grief. Eight weeks is so little time. After two years I still grieve, but there is less pain. I will never forget, but I have now got into a routine and life is not too bad. It takes time and a lot of patience.
Even living alone has become routine, but I still wake up and think ‘I must tell my wife that’ then it hits me. These virus restrictions don’t help.
Take your time, and be kind to yourself and others who may mourn with you. Blessings. John.
I thought this at first 16 wks tomorow for me and I starting to feel more at ease now i never thought i would ive actually suprised myself i have learnt
I cannot change things and at some point we are all going to end up the same way remember take each day at a time dont look too far ahead because it will scare you thats what i was doing not anymore
Be kind on yourself and if you need help get it dont be afraid to
Take care xx
@AR60 It is 19 weeks today for me. I sat outside in the sun. It was warm on my face and the bees were buzzing around the verbena John and I planted back in April. The roses we planted back in April are flowering. Life goes on for everything and everybody else while we are in grief. All I can tell you from the bottom of my heart is that I do not feel so bad as I did 19 weeks ago. It is a slight improvement and the herbal tablets I am taking have definitely helped in the past two weeks. I still cry every day and beg him to come and get me. I don’t think he can or he would. Playing songs from the funeral is good as it helps you release some of the pent up grief. It can make you ill if you keep it all in. You will never ever get over losing him but hopefully, like me, we can keep them close in our hearts and feel their love shining through. Take care
Struggling with the never, ever again. Never see him again, never touch him again, never hug him again and the list goes on. I’m sure that you’ve all been through the same. It is so sad that there are so many people out there who are feeling the same as I am. Life is cruel and to be honest I keep asking covid to come and get me so I can be with him.
@AR60 I know it is cruel and we did nothing to deserve this. Our men were the best in the world and they loved us so much. Oh how happy we were and now it’s all been ripped away. I hope you have a peaceful night.
I have a very small family, there is my mum who is 91, lives in a care home and has COPD and dementia, she thinks Gary is still with us as she forgets overnight and I would have to tell her every day that he has passed. Don’t think I could do that. I have 2 brothers, one is special needs and lives in the community with carer’s, the other lives about 50 miles away. My mother in law is 87, lives on her own, so I do a lot for her , there is also a step son who I am close to but he doesn’t live nearby. So most of the time I feel like it’s just me. What about you?
Nita, I have my Dad in a care home with dementia also so I know all too well how it feels to visit them and be asked ’ Where is Colin, is he not with you today’ 15 times an hour. As if you are not heart broken enough you have to endure that as well. In the end I had to take a step back from visiting and then lockdown came and worked in my favour as I couldn’t see him. You need to do what is right for you with regards to seeing your Mum and don’t feel guilty as they don’t really remember if you have been to see them or not. I am so sorry you lost your lovely husband and you are at the beginning of a long hard journey which we are all on albeit at different stages. We are all here to support eachother so keep chatting as it does help to know you are not alone x
