It’s coming up to 28 weeks since my husband died, I can’t believe it’s been that long since I last heard his voice and felt his arms around me. Saturday is our daughters 18th and I feel so very sad for her, for all of us and for him, for the things to come that he will not be here for. For all the birthdays and anniversaries and all the 1st still to come that he should be here for. He was only 48 and the kids are still growing. He won’t see my daughter get her A-levels and start uni. He won’t see my son do his GCSEs and start college and beyond. I feel so very sad and angry lonely that everything and every way we were is gone. That how we celebrate things is forever changed and will forever be touched by sadness that he is missing
It is so difficult isn’t it? The reality is the first’s do not stop after 12 months. We had a grandson born after my husband died, so I spent another Christmas first and the little one’s birthday is in April so that is another major hurdle and son has announced he is getting married and so it goes on. All I can say is that I paint on a smile and try to join in and my broken heart tries to continue beating through the unbearable pain that I still feel.
Sending hugs xxxx
You are so right, I guess there will be many firsts still to come, I’m trying to make the best of the day for her, but I feel so sad that she only got 17 years and my son only 14 years to know the amazing man that their Dad was. And I feel cheated of the future things I should have had and done with him. Thank you for replying x
So true. xxxx
It is true, I feel like one of those old listed buildings, on the outside I look the same, but inside there is nothing left, derelict, just the ghost of who I was.
When a partner dies, they take your future with them. My husband of 48 years died very suddenly in October 2021. I have an overwhelming sadness that we won’t be making any new memories together. I have fifty years of memories to look back on but several times each day, just for a split second, I think “I must tell D that” and then it hits me again like a sledgehammer that we won’t share any of those moments ever again.
Take care and be kind to yourself everyone. x
Lost my husband suddenly in September 2020. I sometimes pull up on the drive looking for him at the kitchen window or as you say think ‘must tell him’ only to hit me that there will be no face at the window ever again waiting to greet me with a smile. This journey is so hard. xxxx