Almost 4 years


I’m really sorry that I’ve not posted on here for quite a while, life has gotten in the way.

Unfortunately, I’ve been really struggling recently, on 7th March '16, it will have been 4 years since my Dad died and I really miss him a lot at the moment. I’m not sure how I’m going to cope on the day, I’m in Switzerland for my year abroad as part of Uni and I’ve only been here for 2 weeks so I don’t yet have any friends here to talk to. I know the last 3 years I have struggled through 7th March a lot but at least I was in the UK then.

Sometimes, especially recently, I have been told that I should have moved on from my Dad’s death, but I haven’t, yet, and I don’t know if I am ready to either.

Thank you.

Hello Em, so sorry that you are facing being on your own on Monday - anniversaries can be so hard to get through. It may be four years since your dear father died, but I’m sure you are still missing him, and the huge part he played in your life.
I think you have done so well to continue at Uni, and particularly to go and live in Switzerland. Your Dad would have been so proud of you! I will be thinking of you on Monday - please try and stay strong, but allow yourself to get upset - it’s going to be a tough day for you. With kind thoughts, Jackie

Hi Em,

I hope things are ok in Switzerland and that you got through yesterday’s very difficult date.

I remember you posting on the community right at the start of your year abroad and you weren’t sure whether you would be able to stick with it. It’s really good to hear that you are still carrying on with it - you should be very proud of yourself.

Sorry to hear that people are saying you should have moved on - sadly sometimes people who haven’t lost someone close just don’t understand what you have been through.

No need to apologise for staying away - it’s good to hear that life is carrying on, and you are always welcome to pop back here whenever you need to talk.


thank you for the kind messages. I did manage to get through Monday although it was really emotional and very lonely. but I Skyped with my Mum for the first time since I have been here which was nice.

I’m still finding things tough. I think this time of year is always hard because of all the bad memories of the days/weeks after my Dad died 4 years ago.

I often find myself wondering how my life would have been had my Dad still been alive and I’m not entirely sure if that’s normal.

Hi Em,

It sounds pretty normal to me. As you are getting older and moving on to different stages in your life, it’s natural to think about your dad and wonder how things might be different if he was with you.