Am I a horrible person

My 32 year old husband past away 6 weeks ago, he was my soul mate and best friend. But this past week I have developed a huge crush on a friend, I’ve never thought about him this way before. I still cry alot over my husband and I’m depressed most of the day but then I start fantasising about this other guy. What is wrong with me, am I just a horrible heartless person.

Hi, welcome to the forum.

I’ve only been a member on here for three and a bit weeks, I’d encourage you to read as much as you can - there’s so many people going through similarly horrible times.

In terms of your post, I suppose there isn’t a correct answer as how to cope and far be it from me to tell you how to do so. I’d just advise to be careful, many of my feelings since losing Dawn less than four weeks ago have been somewhat scrambled, I don’t think I’ve even got close to process my
loss and my grief.

Maybe the support and friendship you are receiving is reminding you of your relationship with your husband? Take your time and all the best.

1 Like

Hi @Emmaloo

You are not a bad or heartless person, you have been through a desperately traumatic experience at a very young age. Your emotions will be in turmoil and I suspect you are viewing your friend as a secure and safe person amongst all the emotional turbulence. It might be that you are subconsciously looking to try and recapture that feeling of being in a close relationship, having had yours cruelly taken away far too soon.

Give yourself space and time…you are not a bad person.

Take care x


You are not a horrible person. You are lost, lonely and grieving for your husband. You are also very young, confused and hurt; give yourself time to grieve. Don’t rush into anything, in time you will find someone to love again. Be kind to yourself.

1 Like

I would say all our emotions are all over tge are lost without your husband. But i would say just try and think carefully before anything just now i think we all beed to process the shock and loss we have had