Am I going mad?

Decided I wouldn’t go in the forum as often as I was doing as I felt the overload of grief wasn’t helping. But…
Today was a bad day, going for a walk then realising this was where we went on our last walk together, had to go home in tears.
I’ve found that I talk, out loud, to my partner throughout the day, in the car as though he’s sitting next to me, wishing him good night and good morning…
If anyone was watching they might think poor dear talking to herself!
I sometimes feel as though I’m going insane!
Is this part of grieving? Not letting go? Or is it for comfort?
Really mixed up, never ever thought I would be talking, having a one sided conversation with fresh air!

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I’m smiling as I write, because if talking to my husband was a sign of going mad…I’d be a prime candidate and I’m sure many others, would be too! If it comes naturally and feels right then I’ll be chatting away for ever. Sorry you haven’t had the best of days…hope you are feeling a bit more settled, kind wishes, x

Thank you, perhaps I will continue on as I am knowing there are others who do the same!
He doesn’t reply now but then again I did most of the talking and answered my own questions before!

I remember my mother chatting away and not knowing what to make of it. My father had died a long time before and it never crossed my mind that she might be talking to him. I just smiled and didn’t say anything.
I don’t do it often but I occasionally tell my wife things. I’m not sure why as I know she is dead but it still happens. Maybe it’s a ‘just in case’ situation. It seems to be quite common amongst the grieving. Maybe we’re all a bit insane, after all, what is normal? I think you might be right about the letting go. I suppose we let go a bit but maybe not completely. That’s too much to contemplate. If it feels good to you then that’s all that matters.

I think it’s all three and we do what makes us feel comfortable. Were grieving, don’t want to let go of them and talk to keep them with us. I talk to my husband all the time, he’s probably sick of the sound of my voice. I will probably be known locally as that batty woman that talks to herself.
I’m annoyed with him about something tonight and have been telling him off and having a one sided argument with him and myself. Now that is really going mad!!!
We was ramblers and there’s not going to be many walks that we haven’t done together, I’m slowly going to do them, but every path has a memory. Many tears are going to be shed.
I also have moments when I think I’m going mad then i tell myself to pull myself together. Sometimes it does sometime it doesn’t.
I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

Hi.
It’s still very raw for me as Anne only passed away on the 26th of January. I constantly talk to her, more probably than before as she like her soaps, worked and did many other things. I often think I’m going mad but it does help. Whether she hears me or not is irrelevant it help me and that is the main thing, I’m sure it is the same for us all who are in this situation.

Of course we are NOT going mad, in a way we are lucky to feel such intense bereavement pain, it proves what a good relationship we had with our departed loved ones. Grief is the price we pay for love, the ones we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. It is 3 years since I “lost” my beloved younger brother and during that 3 years, I have had no let up in my grief, we were so close, I was 8 years older than John, my mum always blamed Hitler for the big age gap as my dad was overseas during the war and we didn’t see him for 4 years. Peace be with all of you. MaryL

Thank you MaryL and also with you, x

I lost my lovely George at the end of November. I talk to him all of the time mostly out loud. I talk to him when I am out walking the dog, I chat to his picture which is by our bed, I always say out loud ‘I love you’ before I go to sleep just as I would have when he was here and I am always asking him why all this happened to us. Instead of going mad I think it is the only thing that keeps me sane xx

Thank you, Rainbow. x x x

I am a natural talker whereby my Richard was the quieter one but since I lost him 11th April ten weeks ago, I have done nothing but talk to him and cry my heart out…not always at the same time…

Jackie…

This is only natural, Jackie. I do think about you. x

Hi MaryL, just wondering how you are doing…can’t believe it’s over three months since we last posted to each other. I hope it’s been one of the better days we have, from time to time. Have a peaceful evening, kind wishes, x

Dear Rainbow, I am sorry I haven’t been in touch for so long, I have had a very worrying time these last 3 months. Can it really be, so long?. My husband has been seriously ill, at first we were worried that the cancer had spread, luckily he was taken to hospital and given an MRI scan, which proved otherwise. It has made me realise how dreadful it must be for all of you who have lost their spouses, I am into my 10th week of being on my own. I sympathise with all of you, who have lost their loved ones, my thoughts and prayers are with all of you, even more so, now. Take care and look after yourself. x

Thank you, lovely lady, peace be with you, x

Peace be with you too, dear Rainbow. How my heart aches for you and the rest.<3

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Thats what I do all the time. I talk to my mum everyday, just like i would if she was here. I have found it helps loads.

Sitting at the computer 5.50 am, already having my first cry of the day whilst reading our forums postings…My computer office is right opposite my Richards bedroom, his door I now leave wide open, I turned to his room and cried, oh how I wished he was inside…his bedroom is just empty, I so want him to be there tucked up in his bed like he always was…Oh yes not one day has gone by that I have not cried, I talk to him, well just talk to myself all the time…Like most of us I keep hankering back to our happy, carefree and our healthy days which was not that long ago…
For me it is an end of an era, 20 years of our partnership is - was over in just a flash…Yes been 11 weeks now since I lost my Richard, found him dead sitting in his armchair…

Jackie…sending a hug to all who are needing one…((( hug )))

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