I lost my fit, healthy husband suddenly 15 months ago. This year seems worse than last, just feel this is it.
My son, 45, has schizophrenia controlled my medication and has kept well for years. My husband of 9 years had never seen him ill. He decided to stop his meds and I found him trying to kill himself.
Ambulance and police were called and now sitting in the hospital. I just can’t cope with any more. My fear, well founded, is that they may send him home now he’s quiet with diazepam. How can I sleep or do anything knowing it’s impossible to hide everything he could harm himself with.
I can’t bear to lose him as well and my husband would have been sitting with me now.
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I think the second year is some what harder to deal with than the first, I’m at 15 months too.
Probably your son is missing your husband too and that is why he has stopped taking his medication and he is feeling the loss and showing it in the only way he knows how.
I feel for you and the terrible anguish you are in, lossing your husband and having lost the support of the only person you really need right now.
I hope and pray the hospital gets your son back on track and soon.
Sending prayers, love and hugs.
Debbie X X
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Hi I’m so sorry for your loss and what you are going through now life can be crawl , I was with my partner 9 years and he passed away 15 months ago I find it so hard now and lonely I have children but isn’t the same we were due to marry 6 weeks after his passing , sometime I think I’m really going to crack up , I do puzzles and meditation to help me this site has been very helpful with lovely caring people I hope your son will be alright stay strong I’m here anytime to talk xx Yvonne
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Thank you so much.Still sitting at the hospital by his bed. My husband was actually not his father and had only known him 9 years but had complete empathy whereas his real Dad is pretty useless.
I almost wish I hadn’t known such a lovely man as then I wouldn’t feel like this. I know that’s really stupid as we had fabulous times that I’ll never forget.
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I sort of worked out he wasn’t his dad, but it doesn’t make the pain and anguish any easier for you. Stay strong I’m sure your husband is with you in spirit.
Love Debbie 
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Hi stay strong my husband to be for 9 years wasn’t my kids father but he was such a good dad to them , we were so happy got on so well and that makes things much hard I’m 56 and just thought I had everything I wanted in life then it all feel apart , we must stay positive xx thinking of you Yvonne x
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agree with this …
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@Chelmer1 oh no this sounds like a terrible situation to be in. I’m being treated for a personality disorder which affects my mood and my thinking. I would say it’s poorly controlled and I’ve made a few suicide attempts in the past. It is a difficult one. I am medicated but often this is not enough. I access the crisis team who basically check I have someone here to keep me safe and no means to make any further attempts. This is a huge burden for the person caring for me as you can probably guess. Diazepam is useful but the problem is you develop a tolerance to it. I’ve been taking it for 25 years. Sometimes it helps sometimes it doesn’t. The main question we get asked is has my carer removed access to anything can be used to harm myself ( so that’s sharps and medication). I expect you are daunted by the fact that your son will be discharged, possibly without getting to the route of the issue. I would just suggest close supervision as best you can and make sure you have ALL telephone numbers of the crisis teams responsible for his care . This should be detailed on his care plan which I am making an assumption is in place . Take care x