Angry and giving thanks...

I am angry with God for taking my Richard, and taking him away from me, then in the next breath i am thanking God for sending - giving him to me for the past 20 years…i feel so blessed to have known him…just wished we had be given another ten years together…

I am so mixed up, i am a mixture of anger and gratitude with god…

Jackie, you are obviously a believer, I am not being patronising here, have you thought about attending a local church? Just an idea which popped into my mind this afternoon whilst I was thinking about you.

Mary…
…church was the first place i wanted desperately to attend straight after the loss of my Richard but because of where out of the way i am now living i could not get any church volunteers people to come collect me, in fact i was as good as promised help from one female vicar who just tried passing me on to another group of churches, another church let me down badly when on a very special occasion the lady Bishop was going to be at the church, oh yes i was told to phone a certain church lady and told " if anyone has the ability of getting me in, it would be she…" well she had phoned people on her getting people in list, and not one person would do so…so i have given up on churches near to where i am in this part of Dorset…I have been badly now let down by three churches…

Sorry, Jackie, a bad idea, which I had.

Mary…
…no it wasn’t…i may just have to wait a tad longer until i move away from here and head back towards " back home…" then i will find a welcoming church…

I really hope that you do find what you are looking for, Jackie.
I have decided to go back to the church which was so involved with our family’s life. First of all, I am going to start going to the coffee morning, which is held every Friday for church funds. I have really thought about this and I need to see how I cope being in the church in which we were married and where Stan was a churchwarden for quite a few years.
Love,
Mary x

MaryL, good for you for taking those first steps and going out again. If the church that holds the coffee mornings is a local church it will be a comfort to be with friends and neighbours. I still occasionally go and play darts with my partner’s best friend. Tom (my partner), Gary (his friend) and Janet (Gary’s partner) used to play darts every Sunday night in our local pub. It is a comfort to me being with people who loved Tom as much as I did. All we can do is keep talking about our grief and keep doing the things we enjoy. Hopefully we will be able to deal with our loss in time and think about our partners without crying. Big Hugs to you xx

Thank you Lozza for your reply, I am trying the coffee morning for a few weeks, to see how I cope. It is just like our family church, Stan and I were baptised there, not at the same time :innocent: he is 5 years older than me. We were confirmed there I was 19 and he was 24, we were married there 60 years ago this year, that was at the same time. :grin: Stan was Church Warden there for a number of years, whilst I used to do the cradle roll. My mum and dad and various aunts and uncles were married there, my siblings were baptised there and married there.
Take care
MaryL x

Back to top