Hello, I’m new to this community. It’s so heartwarming that this exists.
I’m from the Netherlands, so my English might not be the best 
I’m struggling with losing both my parents in a short period of time (1 year apart), around 8 years ago. The concept of living without parents is hard for me. This week was the anniversary of my mom’s death and next week will be my dad’s. I feel like my friends and husband can’t understand that these days (and the days around it) hurt me a lot. Can anyone else relate to this? How do you cope?
Hi Feels.like.autumn, I’m sorry you are in this uncomfortable position. I don’t think you know how painful a bereavement is until it affects you. My wife was very deeply affected by her mother’s death and she needed a lot of help to be able to cope with it. I imagine you have talked about this with your husband but maybe you could find some other way of making him understand. I think a marriage becomes stronger when we can rely on the others strength when we are at our weakest. Maybe you could hold some sort of annual commemoration, like a meal in their honour to mark how much they meant to you. The more we talk the better we understand.
I hope you have a lovely day
Wishing you all the best
Tom
Hello Tom,
thanks for the reply. That’s really helpfull.
You’re absolutely right, I should not even expect for him (and the others around me) to feel what I feel, but it does feel lonely sometimes. I’m really in need of the talking part, but it feels like a lot of people around me don’t want to (or are not able to) talk about the hard things in life.
I wish you a nice day aswell
Hi feels.like.autumn, I understand the loneliness part. My wife was my everything and life without her is very lonely. I often feel like telling couples to give their other half a big hug as you can never have given enough of them.
Maybe it would be a good idea to see a therapist. When my wife was dealing with the death of her mother she went to a couple of therapists and it helped to be able to talk through all her feelings. She was very close to her mother and her very last breath was her calling her mother in her own language. I hope they are together now.
Telling your husband about talking to a therapist might have the added bonus of taking your feelings more seriously.
I hope you find a path
Wishing you all the best
Tom