My darling Keef and I enjoyed going to specialist pubs, he was really into his real ale, and we often went to beer festivals together. I have been out to pubs with some of our friends but I usually end up a sobbing wreck the following day! Today I am off, with a couple of friends, to a local beer festival. Part of me wants to go and part of me doesn’t, so I’m telling myself that since it’s in the same town where I live I can leave at anytime and shouldn’t feel obliged to stay. I’ll have to see how I cope with this one as there’s another planned at the end of the month which is further afield. I know that Keef would have wanted me to join in with other people and go to things, particularly when I’ve been specifically invited, but it’s difficult when most of the others are in their couples and I’m out on a limb. Plus of course it’s something I associated very much with him and what we’d do as a couple, I just hope that I don’t ruin it for other people by being a bit sad and quiet.
It’s really good that you are planning to go. As you say it’s another first! And you have the option of leaving if it’s all too much.
I was invited to go to a gig the other week. We often went to listen to live music. I was in two minds wether to go as it meant staying away for 2 nights but went as I knew I would be annoyed with myself if I didn’t go. Have to admit I spent a lot of time in tears, and came home after only one night but was glad I went.
I hope it goes ok x
@Guineapig65 I think it’s great you are doing your best to build a life after the loss of Keef. It’s small steps and I hope I too can do some of the things I did with my husband in time. We have to carry on and try to have some purpose and enjoyment in life. I’m sure that’s what they would want. Good luck
I was literally just thinking about everything my partner is missing out on. I’m sat in the garden in our camping chairs (as garden not finished). It’s sad but he wouldn’t want not me not to do it. I know for a fact, he’d rather I was sitting on the furniture we planned to buy in the nice seating area he was going to create but thats life. Can’t be helped.
Oh my I know how hard that will be. It’s good your going though.
Take the happy moments, however fleeting, and the sad quiet moments. They are all part of how we cope.
Your friends will understand.
Cheers to you and your soulmate🍻
Me and my husband were pub people.
We even met in a pub.
In the last few years when he was very poorly, our local pub was the only place that we went. He was just too poorly to go anywhere else. I cared for him, and had to do everything for him. He needed a mobility scooter to get there. It was a big effort to get ready to go, but it was our way of continuing to live life. I’d come jone from work, help him get ready and then we’d go out with our dog just for an hour or so. It was his get out of the house, and my sit down for an hour time.
After he died the youngsters in the pub organised his wake there for me. ( We called them our pub children). They did a lovely photo montage and also put up bunting…which was saints shirts with his name on. One of those pieces of bunting has been put on the wall behind where he sat, as a permanent memory of him.
I continue to go everyday with our dogs. ‘Our’ table is saved everyday for me and our dogs. And so many of our pub kids go out of their way to come sit with me and the dogs but even on the days noone comes in, or in just waiting, it still has a peace and comfort to be sitting there. Even though I feel so lonely that he’s not sat there right next to me, I also do feel him there with me.
And for me it’s also part of routines…I need routines in my life to cope and carry on.
Hugs to you all, as we all find our own ways to cope with our individual heartaches
Hello guinea pig
How did you get on today?
I was just thinking of you.
I hope you had some okay moments.
Well done @Guineapig65 in taking that big step. That’s a brave thing to try as doing anything you used to do together, without the other person, is one of the hardest challenges I think.
I do hope it went as well as possible.
Actually turned our quite well. My friends were very supportive and the couple of moments I felt overwhelmed by everything my little friend took ne outside to think about things. We actually ended up in a cocktail bar, which he would have hated, but I had a good time. Baby steps but this evening felt slightly less traumatic. I still miss him but it’s nice to think I can go out and have some semblance of fun.
Well done. I’m really happy for you
Amazingly well done and yes, certainly counts as success.