Another sleepless night

Before Tim died and I couldn’t sleep I used to go in my mind to my happy place which are very special memories of things Tim and I had done together. Now that happy place eludes me, I’m so scared it’s gone forever. I try to sleep cuddling the pyjama top he last wore and my teddy he bought me for our first Christmas together but I just doze. I have bought a journal and started to record my " happy place" memories in it so that in the lonely hours of the long nights i can read them and hope they bring me some peace and make me smile again.

It’s 128 nights since my wife died and, like most people on the forum, I have experienced difficulty in sleeping. It’s very difficult to switch the mind of and to relax. Just recently I have increased my level of exercise and a friend suggested I take a couple of ibuprofen before trying to sleep. I have now slept occasionally for up to six hours but not every night and rarely two consecutive nights. It has made a massive difference to how I function.

Hello YorkshireLad, my mind has always gone into overdrive at night so I would listen to an Audiobook which helped but not at the moment. If I really couldn’t sleep Tim would make me a cup of tea and we would just sit and chat u until one of us nodded off, usually Tim. I really miss those chats.

My wife has been a bad sleeper for years and she would listen to the radio or audio books. For the last four years her sleeping got even worse and that’s hardly surprising as she had been told she was dying from brain cancer. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be having that on your mind… Not ‘if’ but ’ when’. To her credit she realised that one of us had to get some sleep or things wouldn’t get done and I may not be safe enough to drive to her various appointments for treatment. Fortunately there are several spare bedrooms and I was selfish enough to agree to her suggestion and move into another room for some nights. She spent her last week’s in hospital beds in the hospital, then the hospice and then nearly 3 weeks at home. I have decided to move completely into a different bed in a different room now and I have put all her things in the room she last slept in before leaving for hospital. I find it hard to sit in there for long. It’s all very sad.

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