Here we are again with another weekend to get through…
Every night I go to bed and think tomorrow will be better and every morning I wake up and just for a few seconds I think I feel okay and then it slowly dawns on me that Pete isn’t beside me and if I don’t think of somewhere to go or someone to see I’ll feel this anxiety and heartache until it’s bedtime again.
Sometimes I think that I’m coping with this unreal situation I find myself in and then all the sad memories flood in and I don’t know who I am or what is real or make believe.
Hope others on this site are planning some thing good this weekend.
Love Jenny
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I feel the same Jenny. For a few moments I feel normal when I wake and the the sudden realisation my husband is no longer here. It’s devastating. I the get the anxiety feeling in my chest and stomach all day. I wonder how I am going to fill the long days. I walk the doggy but after that and some housework. What else do I do. I don’t want to go wandering around on my own. There is no joy. All friends have stopped coming as they I presume think I should be coping after ten months. It’s all so horrible I don’t know how I will cope with this x
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Dear Nel,
Thank you so much for your reply and I am sorry that you to feel like I do especially first thing in the morning but it is reassuring in a strange way that others can have the same feelings to cope with as I often think it must be me, know one else could feel this wretched.
I think the anxiety is hard to cope with as mine comes and goes all day for no apparent reason. It feels like waves ebbing and flowing. I’m going to make myself do some housework today as the house is looking a bit neglected but with no Pete to burst in with a bag of buns ready for a cuppa it all seems a bit pointless sadly…
My thoughts are with you.
Love Jenny
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I know that feeling well and I hope it helps to know that you are not alone.
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Totally empathise with you Jennié it is the weekends that are the worse and having to try keep busy can be exhausting and I think what is the point
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Dear Myrs and Chrissy 2,
Thank you for replying and sadly it is a comfort to know that I’m not alone in my thoughts and find the weekends hard to fill.
Pete was usually fishing at a weekend (Hence Kingfisher) by a river, in a brook or often out at sea so I was used to being on my own but I knew that he’d be back and that’s where the the difference lies…
You sound like lovely ladies.
Love Jenny xx
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