Hi, this could have been my own post. Everything you’ve said resonates with me, apart from quitting my job as I’m retired. The biggest question, where did everyone go? I remember the mounds of sympathy cards and so many flowers my home looked like a funeral parlour. Now, I reach out to people but they’re not interested and I do wonder if I’d been the one to pass would they be so distant with my husband?
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@MrsM1 I’ve asked that same question. If it had been me that died would they have been here for my husband? I think so. He was always the one to lend a helping hand to anyone be it neighbours, friends and family. He would be so disappointed in certain people if he knew they have not been in touch since his funeral. Not even to just ask how I am doing. I feel so let down and I know he would too.X
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@Loobyloo2 @MrsM1 - I found that we all find out exactly who are friends are in situations like this. It is always those least likely, maybe, who turn up trumps for us. I stick with and prioritise these true friends, all as part of this new life I am leading. Hold tight, focus on the good people around you x
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@Loobyloo2 , I do the same, screaming while I am driving. Luckily we don’t live in town, so I can take advantage of the long and winding country roads which take us to our nearest town, and where there is no traffic so nobody can see me or hear me.
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It is easier for me most days. Having a bad evening at the moment but I have had several days without tears, even including a card shop with valentines cards today.
I use my determination to make him proud to help and my stubborn nature to NOT be beaten. I want him looking down and saying ‘Good on you girl.’
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Hi @KarenF. I’m so sorry you’re having a bad evening. Evenings are always when I’m at my most fragile. I know I’ve made progress over the last ten weeks but it still takes very little to set me off. I can’t believe I haven’t seen him for all that time. It’s heartbreaking. It feels like he’s so far away from me but also like he’s everywhere in the house. Big cuddle to you xx. Jean.
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My thoughts are with you both. This new year has just brought more tears, not that they’ve ever lessened anyway. that horrific feeling of too much time passing by without our soulmates. I feel like putting my hands out and stopping this time passing, screaming at it to slow down: “Hey, world, how can you just go on like this, leaving him behind?”. I don’t want a new normality, I want my old one back.
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@Solost I so feel what you are feeling , I don’t want to go forward, it frightens me; I want to go back where my beloved was with me & that was my life, my bubble; now I’m just existing in a lonely world I really don’t want to be in! Peace to you all 
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Hi all. I was terrified about Christmas but didn’t worry too much about the New Year but it’s been hideous. I don’t want to start anything new because I can’t tell David all about it. My life is soooooo different now and it feels strange and horrible and like half of me is missing. Even my shopping has changed. I can’t seem to get used to it and it’s very hit and miss. Everything was so
Organised and routined when he was here. Now everything is confused and all over place. Love and strength to you all. Jean xx.
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@Jean8 Yes are lives have literally been destroyed. I’ve been crying most of today wishing for my old life back but as we know that’s impossible but I don’t want the future one, it frightens me xx Love & peace
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I feel like iv not seen him for a long time then feel it was yesterday. I keep asking WHY…miss him so much in my life try to keep busy with work and family. Just missing a part of me.it is 9 weeks and also feel weekends are the worse…i know im a bit better than i was at the beginning but still feel some days are so bad
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