Anticipatory grief

Feeling very weepy and low as my elderly mum is ill in hospital awaiting results. Need to talk to someone about my overwhelming fears uncontrollable worrying. No one seems to understand how I feel. “Stop worrying” they say. I can’t!

Hi Deecee

I am so sorry to read your message. Of course it is a worrying time for you with your Mum in hospital and no way can you stop. I had four nights between my Mum being taken to hospital last year and being told finally she was terminally ill. I think I hardly slept those four nights through fear, worry, terror of what I already suspected.

All I can suggest is to ask the hospital staff to keep you informed. Keep asking everyday if you need to. I know some of the answers you get may not be what you want to hear but at least you will know. The more information you have the stronger you can be for your Mum.


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Thank you Mel. I am sorry to hear about your mum. I am consumed with worry at the moment.

Hello Deecee. I hope you have by now received some news that is kinder than what you have been anticipating. I appreciate how sick with worry you must be feeling. I was too scared to ask the medics a lot of questions as I feared the answers and I didn’t question or challenge them enough in my case - so I wholeheartedly agree with Mel’s suggestion to get all the information and updates about your Mum that you can. I regret not doing this. Warmest regards to you.